Post # 1
Argh…My boyfriend and I are away for the weekend and we’re having a lot of fun and enjoying each other. I mentioned in an earlier post that we watched the movie He’s just not that into you on TV. Well I was getting really into the movie and when Jennifer Aniston says, “Well, do you want to marry me or don’t you?” and the scene cuts, I excitedly shout to my boyfriend, “Well, do you want to marry me or don’t you?”
I know, I can be a little weird. Anyway, he says…. “Probably?”
At the time I thought, “Well, that’s better than he’s been” but now I feel more “Grrr”
We’re on different pages and he needs a lot more time. Last week he was waiting to hear back from a job he interviewed for, but he finally heard back that he didn’t get the job. He has said that he’d be ready to propose within a year of getting a new job. And he’s proactive about looking and he’s even had some callbacks/interviews. But he’s definitely having trouble getting hired. Anyway, I haven’t had time to process all this yet, but I just wanted to share my update.
Post # 3
It’s a sad reality that this economy is really setting the timelines for us waiting ladies. I’m sorry he didn’t get the job…I hope he gets one soon! Until then, just keep supporting him the best you can. Things will definitely speed up once he feels financial security. Good luck to you! I know it’s hard to wait! >.<
Post # 4
Its commendable (and typical) that your guy doesn’t want to put a ring on it until he is comfortable financially. There is a relationship book out there called Act Like A Lady: Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey that states that men need three things before they can pop the question. They are concerned with who they are, what they do, and how much they make, and won’t be comfortable taking the next step until they have reached that next level in self-fulfillment.
Regardless of what people think and how much they claim love should come into the equation, we all need to keep climbing that cliche (but kind of true) Heirarchy of Needs by Maslow. A man SHOULD know his path before he proposes spending the rest of his life with you, out of fairness.
Anyway, I’ll get off my soapbox. Keep strong, lady. Hopefully he gets a job soon.
Post # 5
@LuckyJuls: The Heirarchy of Needs is an excellent point. Love a good psychological argument! I think many people take these steps for granted. Good post.
Post # 6
@LuckyJuls: I never thought to apply the hierarchy of needs to waiting, it makes sense.
Post # 7
@LuckyJuls: Totally agee with this! A good man isn;t going to run off and get married without those things anyway. 🙂
Post # 8
Thanks for your feedback, everyone. The hierarchy of needs really makes sense, although I never thought of it that way. And I usually think of it as him stalling, but I like thinking of it as being fair to me. Yes I hope he gets a good job soon. He has a job but he finds it very draining, and they don’t treat him well. I understand how he would want a job that he could stay in long term before wanting to think about other long term things.