(Closed) Weekend Weddings – How do you explain this to guests?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3943 posts
Honey bee

Wow, thats a lot of celebrating. Can you give us some more details? Is it small parties each day? sit down meals?

Post # 5
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Having everything on one response card will make things logistically easier on both you and your guests. I would say, be prepared for many of the guests to only come for one day/the wedding itself. I know if I got an invitation for a whole weekend-long wedding, I would probably come just for the wedding if I was local and it was just a friend/acquaintance. I’d be there for most/all of the weekend if it was a relative and/or it involved traveling, such that I didn’t already have other stuff to do. I doubt I’d make the Thursday BBQ, though. It seems like kind of a lot.

Post # 7
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We did something a bit like this. We got married at a resort, and most of the guests stayed the Friday and Saturday night. We did the rehearsal on the Friday, followed by a big bbq for everyone. The wedding was on Saturday, and we had a brunch on Sunday. It was great having so many people there for the whole weekend.

That being said, I think if you want to do that, then definitely do it. You know your guests better than anyone else. If you think most people will be into it, then got for it! I wouldn’t change our weekend wedding for anything!

ETA Just realised that I didn’t really answer your question. I think it would be good to put the info on your website. You could also do e-invites to separate the different events, so people can RSVP separately.

Post # 8
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

That sounds awesome! Even if I was local I’d try to go to everything if I could. Maybe have an RSVP card for all events, check boxes or a space for names. With a note saying, we’d love to celebrate all weekend with you. Please let us know which events you will be attending. 

Post # 9
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Aw, don’t get bummed!  I think it sounds like a lot of fun.  Your friends and family will attend the whole weekend if they can–and if they can only make it for one night–no big deal.  It doesn’t mean that they care about you even less, but people do have busy lives.  Just enjoy the whole weekend and don’t overthink it if people can’t make it to all of the events.

That said…I think the insert and the website are great ideas!  For the RSVP, I’d put a space to RSVP for each individual event.  Hope this helps!

Post # 10
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@SeptemberBride2013:  We did something similar to this. Even though the majority of guests did only attend the wedding portion of the weekend, I’m still so glad we did it. I had barely a chance to talk to anyone for more than a minute at the wedding, so the people that came to our Welcome Party or Day after Brunch were the people I actually got to catch up with! My Maid/Matron of Honor mentioned that she really liked how we had everyone out for a few days, it was a lot more relaxed that way and I didn’t feel (as) terrible about the people who I didn’t get to chat with at the reception.

I would put all the info on your invitations and website. I wouldn’t do all one response card–even if they are coming to your wedding, it might be a bit much to expect most people to know their whole weekend schedule a month in advance.

Post # 11
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@ OP If your family and friends seem to like the idea then by all means go for it. Not everyone you invite will be able to attend the whole weekend, many will come for just the weekend itself, and some will even only come for the wedding itself. This is all okay, since an invitation is just that not a summons. 

I think your idea sounds like tons of fun and realistically many people are already giving up their entire weekend for a wedding anyways, especially if they have to travel for it.

Post # 12
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We had three events: Friday night bbq, Saturday afternoon/evening wedding, and Sunday brunch.

Our invitation suite included: (1) main invitation for the wedding itself (2) smaller invitation for both the bbq and brunch (3) RSVP card (4) directions, list of lodging options, and area activities.

Our RSVP card listed the three events and said to indicate how many guests would attend each one.  For the wedding, we had subsections for meal selections instead of just a total.

Since our wedding, we’ve been invited to two others with the exact same format as ours.  To be honest, as a guest I found it to be a bit much because I’m not especially close to either couple.  (They are friends of my husband.)  In both cases we just showed up for the wedding, spent the night in the area, and then stopped by brunch the next day before heading home.

That being said, I had a great time at our bbq.

Post # 14
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would put space next to each event for people to write in the guests attending each one.  I think this sounds like fun!!

Post # 15
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Send Save-The-Date Cards inviting people to your wedding weekend.

Save the Date for Jane and John’s Wedding Weekend

September 20-22, 2013.


Then list the events and dates on the website.

As for formal invitations, which will wait until 10 weeks out, send a suite with one invitation for each event with a single response card for all three.

Post # 16
25 posts

We did this too!  (Minus Thursday, although there ended up being king of an impromptu Thursday thing since a lot of people came up early–the location was pretty remote).  People loved it!  A lot of people told us afterward how much they enjoyed getting to meet and talk to people more than once.  I’ve been to other weddings like this–for many people it’s an increasingly familiar concept since young people tend to move around the country a lot more than they used to and people travel significant distances for weddings.  Don’t feel weird.  (And think of it this way–you’re trying to make the traveling worth it for people, to feed them and give them something fun to do and people to meet–you’re not trying to prolong your wedding and be a ‘zilla.)

We had the invitation to the actual wedding, plus a card that listed all of the events with their times (friday dinner, saturday wedding, sunday brunch).  Then our RSVP card had a spot that people could check by each event.  Our website also had the events listed, and we encouraged people via word-of-mouth to stop by during the day on Saturday to play lawn games.

It’ll be really fun, I promise!

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