Post # 1
Dirty Delete got engaged New Year’s Eve and set the date for August. They’ve lived together for 6 yrs, 2 kids,bought home together. She got dress&picked colors, they did pre-cana,contracted for venue by March. Since then, nothing! Gave them wedding budget/planning sheets so they’d have some guidance. Won’t discuss wedding/just says “I know” when I say how few weeks are left! Seems unhappy, unsure sometimes. Everytime her feelings change I wonder if they will cancel, postpone, or go full steam ahead? Who knows, but there are decisions/choices that, if they are going to make them, should happen now before more money is spent or no vendors are left. Can mid/late 20 somethings really think a wedding is going to magically happen without them talking about it/working on it/making appts/making choices?
Post # 3
Can mid/late 20 somethings really think a wedding is going to magically happen without them talking about it/working on it/making appts/making choices?
No we definitely don’t.
Post # 4
How close are you two? Can you sit her down (Just the two of you) and explain this?
Post # 5
@lynnwin: maybe sit down and talk to her. You def dont want to overwhelm her. my mom did that and I pushed her way.I had my own wedding timeline and I hated the idea of being micro managed!
Post # 6
@Mars62312: They both work full time, then come home to kids/dinner/baths/homework/etc. On the weekends, like everyone else, they do chores then relax. They don’t seem to want to put any time/energy into wedding stuff – so week after week passes. When they bring Gkids here on weekend, I hear ‘we came here to visit you and have fun, not talk about the wedding.’ She’s emotionally volatile when stressed or pressured and will try to ‘flip’ things back onto me – like “if it bothers you, why don’t you do it?” or “what do you want me to do, cancel?” I will help with whatever they initiate but I’m not going to take it over because they need to care about their own wedding. I have had this conversation with her and she just says “I know”. Maid/Matron of Honor is frustrated too.
Post # 7
@lynnwin: Could she maybe have made some arrangements/plans on her own that you don’t know about? I was pretty guilty of leaving my mother out of most of our wedding plans (then again, we have issues…), so when she’d ask about something or give suggestions, I was usually vague or changed the subject. Do you think they both really want the big wedding or is she doing it to make others happy? Maybe that’s why she hasn’t been too excited or interested in planning.
Post # 8
@misspeanut: No other arrangements/planning , that’s why Maid/Matron of Honor is frustrated too. B&G could have whatever kind of wedding they wanted except FI’s family wanted a catholic wedding(which they are having)and we said we’d pay for a wine/beer reception but not an open bar so they signed a contract for a 5 hour open bar. Other than that, they could have big/small, homemade/vendored, this year or next, etc So, it’s less than 3 months away and I’m making pew bows and streamer wands to wave(can’t throw anything at the church) but not investing any more emotionally or financially until they get more invested.