- Miss Baz
- 10 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
With my wedding being a little over a year away, I decided last week it is time to get my butt in gear and get healthy. So Mr. H and I went to GNC for supplements and all that, then joined a fitness club, then went grocery shopping for healthy food. All good stuff, feeling positive and excited to be more active and get into shape.
I was putting off weighing myself because I was afraid of the number I would find, and sure enough, today I weighed myself because I HAD to know where I stand, and sure enough it was a good 25 pounds over what I was expecting.
I can’t believe I let myself get this bad. I am so angry and upset with myself, and now it feels sooo hopeless. Especially when Mr. H can eat and eat and eat anything in the world, eat every meal fast food and never gain a pound.
How do I change my lifestyle, without changing his too? It doesn’t seem fair really for him… since I’m the one who cooks, now all of a sudden all I can eat is boiled chicken and broccoli, when we used to eat fried chicken, pasta, pasta, and pasta, candy, ice cream… all the stuff he loves. I just pretty much banned all that from my diet, in moderation of course, but I can never eat like that again. Nor do I really want to I guess… but he does. Will I forever be stuck cooking two different meals now?
On a vainer note… I’m sorry I just have to let it out… I’m so sad and disappointed that I am just not going to look how I want to on my wedding day. There is no possible way for me to lose that much weight in a healthy way in 6 months, in time to order the dress. There is no way! And so now…. my chunk of a self will be forever immortalized in the pictures. I am afraid that I will always hate it! And myself! How do I get over this? How can I just be happy with who I am? Feel comfortable in my own skin?
Also- so I am on a roll and losing weight, and then I order my dress… do I stop trying to lose more? I don’t really want to stop, but I don’t want to order a dress that I will have to reorder in a few months because I lost more than a dress size. Do I order the dress too small? And pray I don’t hit a plateau? I won’t want to stop losing weight once I am at that point.
I’m done now… sorry for taking up so my room and time. Has anybody been through this or in the same position right now? How are you approaching this?