(Closed) Weight issues with FI

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
9649 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Laurenskii:   Losing weight suddenly without knowing the reason is an indication you need to see a doctor, hon.  That’s not normal, especially if your FI is concerned enough to mention it to you.  Don’t risk your health, please get yourself checked out.

Post # 6
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think that people realize that telling someone they are too skinny is as hurtful and embarrassing as being told they are too fat. But at least he is concerned and looking out for you. Also MAJOR DITTO to PP’s that this is NOT normal, there’s no reason you should be losing weight like this without some life change going with it. Get yourself a DR appt asap.

Also, tell him that you feel self conscious and why you are covering, don’t just brush it off, it’s a valid feeling.

Post # 8
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would really try to have an open an honest talk with him. I would tell him that eating and living healthily is really important to you, that’s all that you want is to be healthy. I would also tell him that he hurt your feelings and made you feel not as sexy. 

I’m sure he is just looking out for you, and is worried, but kind of being an ass while doing so. 

My Future Mother-In-Law recently lost a lot of weight due to not being able to eat solid foods, my FH said when he saw her “mom, you look like a bobble head, you have to stop losing weight” Eeesh, I could have smacked him! 

On that note, I’m really not sure what your body type is, and I don’t always like to go by BMI ; however, yours is 17.3, which does put you underweight. If you are concerned as to why you are losing so much weight I would consult with a doctor. I know it sounds silly, but I would at least call them, maybe get some blood work, just to make sure everything is good! Sometimes losing weight can be a symptom of something more serious that you might need to rule out! 

*HUGS* Feel better, and know that no matter your weight, you ARE sexy! It’s all in the attitude! 

Post # 12
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Laurenskii:  lol! I just saw that! I think we were all posting at once! Good luck! Let us know how it goes! 

Post # 13
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

OP, I am sure you and doctor can figure out what the problem is.  Do you feel like your heart is pounding or racing? Have you recently started having hot flashes or changes in your temperature (like maybe you used to be cold now you feel normal?) I wonder if you might have a hyperactive thyroid.  Usually people feel great, have super high energy levels, can eat virtually anything they want and not put on weight, usually you have a high appetite unless you are ignoring your body/restricting calories.  I went through a thyroid storm when I was 27 and being 5/7 and 110 I had my fare share of the same kind of comments.  I would be inhaling a huge ass turkey burger patty and someone would call me anorexic?  

If you’ve recently changed your exercise habits, perhaps you are not taking in enough calories?  I would start keeping a food journal, by doing this you can be sure you are taking in at least 1200 cal, ideally you should be at 1600.  This will also show Fiance that you are actually eating and it will be helpful for your doctor too. 

Post # 15
7455 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

He was probably making the comment because he is worried about you. Try to see it that way.

Post # 16
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I can totally see why you would be hurt about his comment and feel awkward being naked around him.  I do agree with the pp who suggested he was just caught off guard by seeing you at a new angle or something that emphasized your rapid weight loss (10 pounds at your weight is probably fairly noticeable) and he said something rude out of surprise and worry. 

That said, it was really really rude and very hurtful, I am sure.  He should have couched his concern in terms that did not focus on how you look and at a time when you were not naked and vulnerable! It is totally understandable if it takes you a while to feel comfortable exposing yourself to him again, and hopefully he can see why that might be. 

Since it sounds like you are on top of any possible medical issues, I will just wish you good luck with coming to terms with what happened between you and your partner!


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