Post # 1
How do I encourage my fiance to lose weight for our wedding? Or just in general?
He thinks that because he eats organic food he is healthy, but he’s not. He drinks too much beer and NEVER exercises. He sometimes goes on walks, but that’s it. He acts like he does everything he needs to. He also says things like, “If I exercised like you do, I’d be so hungry I’d eat more, so I can’t do that.” Which is BS because he eats a ton already and says he has slow metabolism…
What would you do??
Post # 3
Try to get active together. Take long walks after work, join an intermural sports league, do something together.
You know the old saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. Your Fiance has to decide that he wants to lose weight and really commit to the lifestyle change if it’s going to work.
Post # 4
get him to go to a doctor’s appointment. see if he actually is healthy or not. let an actual doctor make a judgement call and give advice. that way, you may have solid backup when you badger him to exercise more… because the doctor said so. if your guy is actually fine and healthy, you don’t need to worry. health comes in all shapes and sizes.
if it’s because you are embarassed by his weight and want him to look better for your wedding, then you need to look inside yourself to fix the problem.
Post # 5
@rosworms: He has high cholesterol, and I’m sure the doctor’s told him he’s overweight. I love him however he is, but I am worried about his weight. Our wedding is a great reason for him to get in shape. If he doesn’t, it’ll be fine. I just think, since he did say he wants to get in shape for it, that he wants to slim down.
I just don’t know how to encourage him. I play rugby, so I am at practice two nights a week. The other nights I tutor or have certification classes to work on. He works late, and then goes to the cigar store to hang out with his buddies. OH, and sometimes we play baseball. Which involves me, my bff, or her boyfriend pitching to my fiance and him hitting the ball. No running. And sometimes he picks me up to crack my back. lol.
Post # 6
I think the best way to encourage him is by being an example yourself. My Darling Husband really jumped on the healthy lifestyle bandwagon after he saw me eating healthy, exercising regularily and looking and feeling better!
Also, encourage him to take walks with you, arrange active activities you can do together (camping, hiking, biking, rock climbing, ectect), invite him to the gym, cook delicious healthy meals!
Like PPs said though, you can encourage and inspire him, but he has to make the decision to start being healthier himself. If it’s not his decision, any weight loss effort will simply not work.
Post # 7
well….. this advice is a little bit shady…
what i have been doing to try to get Fiance to quit smoking… is I start talking about the health complications and what can happen to him and then i start crying (it’s not hard to make yourself cry if you think about life without him) and he feels guilty and tries a little harder to change his behavior.
So…. crying… is my advice. guilt trip him into healthy behaviors. it’s not the most honest or straight up advice, but it’s not like it’s for bad reasons….
Post # 8
@rosworms: Lol that’s funny. It wouldn’t work with him, but it’s a good idea. I want him to stop smoking cigars, because they DO cause cancer. Even though he says, “George Carlin lived into his 90s and he smoked cigars!!!” Okay yeah you’re crazy, dear.
I will try to go play baseball when he goes. Once I brought the rugby ball and we started a little game of touch. On a big field with only four people that’s a lot of running!!
I think I might have to also have an honest conversation with him. “Dearest darling poofy pants, I am concerned that you are not exercising enough to stay healthy. Let’s try to go on daily walks, and maybe even runs, so you can get healthier.”
Ugh and he’ll say, “I am healthy, and I can’t run becuase of my ankles.” BS BS BS!!!!
Post # 9
@peachacid: My Darling Husband always used to say he couldn’t be active because of his knee. He used to get a sore knee, but now that he’s eating well, exercising and lost a lot of weight, guess what? His sore knee is gone!
Post # 10
Sit him down and talk to him frankly and honestly. Say that he has high cholesterol and that organic food alone is not going to fix that. Also perhaps talk to him about how there is really no regulation of what is organic and what is not and what can be labeled as such–many foods that are labeled organic are not organic at all. CLorox makes a cleaner that they tout as “natural” and “organic”–it’s the same shit as their regular stuff, just in a green bottle. And organic does not mean healthy or nutritious. Organic chips are still fatty and made of carbs, which are sugars, which make and keep you fat and are not good for high cholesterol. Eating fresh fruits and veggies is good for you, organic whatever is not necessarily.
Being overweight, even if you’re healthy otherwise for now, is really unhealthy, even just a little bit. Your joints and organs are meant to carry a certain amount of weight. If ou go over that, you’re straining your vital functions. Early arthritis, early organ disease and failure–these are linked with being over weight. Tell him how important it is to you that he does everything he can to make sure that he is healthy and alive with you for as long as possible.
And finally, exercising is so good for you. It’s good for your brain and can reverse damage to your hippocampus caused by stress. It’s good for your heart and it’s good for your muscularskeletal system and it’s just fun. Even running on an elliptical for 20 minutes a day would be a major improvement for him.
Post # 11
Whenever my fiance and I talk about weight and health, it always leads us back to having children. We don’t have any yet, but when we do have them, we want to be healthy and active so that we are able to do fun things with them. If children are important for the two of you, then maybe that can be a motivator.
Post # 12
I think it’s a tought walk to have. I say emphais health not weight. I think encourage him and leading by example is great. However it seems he disagrees with you, so I wouldn’t nagg him to lose weight if he doesn’t want to or isn’t ready too at this point.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t come from a place of “You need to lose weight”, but more “I want us to be healthy for a long life together.” Maybe sign up for a sport you can play together or dance classes, healthy cooking at home, etc.