Weight Loss Surgery and Morals

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
10537 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I don’t understand why you think this is linked to the weight loss when it’s seems much more obviously linked to her relationship troubles.

Post # 4
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

This website might give you a little more insight. It’s obvious that there may have been problems within the relationship prior to surgery. Personality changes following weight loss surgery are not uncommon. It’s almost like a rebirth especially if weight has been a huge factor during adolescence.

https://couplestherapyinc.com/personality-change-after-bariatric-surgery/

 

Post # 5
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2005

Weight loss surgery isnt a fix for everything. It fixes the outside, but on the inside the person still feels like they are the same overweight person looking for validation and caring.

Think about it. She is with someone who, up until she found out about his cheating, was suppose to love her unconditionally, regardless of her size, and now she finds out that even with weight loss surgery, the ultimate step in changing your body, that none of it made a difference. He still cheated, doesnt matter if she is overweight or thin, he still didnt love her enough not to cheat. All her worst fears have been realized, she isnt worthy of love or attention. 

So now she has gone into self destruct mode, its not pretty, and its probably gonna get a lot uglier before it gets better.  She really needs to get back to therapy, and she really needs to make a break from her cheating spouse, or take him to therapy with her. 

Post # 7
Member
871 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
anonabee143 :  This is a weird first post on a wedding website.

Also, you may be a concerned friend, but your concern is misplaced.

You think that since she’s lost weight she’s lost her morals. Like, okay, she feels sexy now that she’s lost weight so she’s out there living it up, doing stuff I don’t approve of. It doesn’t sound to me like she’s living it up at all, it sounds like she’s engaging in out of character and even risky behaviour (because how well does she even know these guys she’s sending pics to or meeting in hotel rooms?) because she’s hurting. 

You’re judging her thinking she’s acting like a femme fatale because she’s lost weight. Your friend is acting self-destructively because she feels devastated and broken after finding out her SO has been cheating on her, plus she’s torn because she still loves him, she’s heartsick, and has a baby to think about in the mix. If you truly want to help your friend, you need to recognize what the actual problem is here.  

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