Post # 1
Yesterday I had the pleasure of seeing friends and family for Thanksgiving, which was a nice time except for the comments.
1. “wow, it looks like you’ve already had dinner”,(pokin my stomache)
2. “hopefully we can fit u into your dress”
3. referring to me as “butterball” to my FI!
My curves rock!
Working on my weight has been a slow learning process for me, but I’m willing to work at it without ridicule. I am not perfect but I like me, and my Fiance does too. why the comments?
Sorry so long, thanks for listening
Post # 3
What in the______????
I’m so sorry. Family does inexplicable things sometimes. They think it is “in fun” or “cute” but it hurts sometimes.
You love you, your Fiance loves you, try to forget their comments !
Keep rockin’ !
Post # 4
@ItalianLady: thanks so much, I will do just that! 🙂
Post # 5
Hugs! I get that from my family too. It’s just because they aren’t happy with themselves, it has nothing to do with you. If you’re happy the way you are, that’s all that matters.
Post # 6
I agree with the ItalianLady. My curves rock, too. I hear negative comments through my Fiance from the Future Mother-In-Law and it drives me insane. At that time I was a size 10/12. COME ON! Geez. Btw, people that are usually poking fun at you are either A) Insecure about themselves B) Jealous of you C) All of the above! : ) Keep rocking your love and happiness, that is the best response! Hugs!
Post # 7
Ugh, so annoying. Try not to let them get to you.
The same thing happened in my family to my cousin. She gained a bit of weight (not tons though), and my grandpa went up to her (he’s almost completely blind) and said “Who’s that? Oh, you used to be so cute and petite?” Definitely not a compliment!
Gotta love crazy family comments!
Post # 8
I dealt with the same thing. I’m dealing with a pretty emotional time and I was trying to talk to my mom about it. The conversation some how turned to my weight. Like me losing weight was going to solve all of my problems.
Post # 9
I’ve shut down talk about ANYONE’s weight with my family. They either get a VERY serious glare or a very long lecture about the unhealthy focus on health over weight and the myriad conditions and medications that can cause weight gain.
It’s been fairly effective, though I can’t get my dad to stop calling the neighbor he hates Fat L. Which I guess I can live with, but I cannot deal with negativity around weight whether it’s mine or someone else’s. I’m not even overweight, but this stuff makes me SO unhappy that I’ve just refused to be around people who are doing it.
Post # 10
I had a bit of a breakdown today over this :(. My mom and my sister are really skinny and I’m a size twelve. They don’t seem to think it’s a big deal to make comments about my weight, but obviously…
Anyway, I’m with you, too :(. The holidays kind of suck. @Entangled, that’s a great plan.
Post # 11
I feel ya. My sister comments on how “big” I am every time she sees me. (I am a size 8) She is obsessed with weight. Try to remember, that is THEIR issue, if they are going to be so superficial and rude- not YOURS!
Post # 12
I feel your pain. I have a number of family members who comment on my weight. One inparticular is my aunt, who recently lost alot of weight so she thinks she’s like the definition of good health. At my great grandmothers funereal 2 years ago we were standing around talking with family that we haven’t seen in years (like since I was 5). Another aunt who I didn’t even know said something about not seeing my since I was little. My aunt laughed and said “She hasn’t been little in a LONG time”. I was very angry and both my parents and Fiance kind of freaked on her since she said it infront of basically every member of my family. Talk about humiliating.
I dwelled on this for a long time. Close to 6 months went by before I spoke to her (and we are VERY close) and it still makes me angry to think about it but I eventually got over it after talking to her and telling her how much it hurt me. She’s been much better ever since.
Post # 13
That’s so mean! My mom used to make weight remarks to my younger sister when she was 10-13 and I got so mad at her for it. It’s hard enough going through the awkward phase, you don’t need someone pointing out if you’ve gained weight.
Post # 14
@Soon2BNJersey: I still remember years ago when I came home from college for Thanksgiving, having gained some weight (I was also very depressed, which just made everything worse) & my uncle immedietly said, “well, you’ve gained some weight!” and then made a comment about how much I ate at Thanksgiving.
I was pretty upset, but later my aunt (his wife) came up and said she was so upset with him for what he had said, and next time I should say “wow, you’ve lost some hair!” in response.
I agree that you should keep on rockin’ what you’ve got, but I also think its bull that our family can get away with saying hurtful things to us. If you want to turn it into a joke or draw attention to how inappropriate it is, I think you should. If you’d rather mention it in private, that is also a good way to handle it.
People who love you will respect your confidence in saying “this is MY body, and not really any business of yours.”
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Um, RUDE much??? I’m sorry, I’d be so upset too…Relatives are crazy, don’t listen to a word they say!,
Post # 16
Ugh… some family members just can’t control themselves.
I sent a courtesey invite to my drunk uncle who lives across the country and usually has nothing to do with any other family members and he actually came. At our welcome dinner he walks in, sees me and yells out.. “WOW, YOU GOT FAT!!!”
Awkward…. and seriously, I was 8 last time I saw him.