Post # 1
Hi. My sweetie and I had another good talk last night about relationship stuff. He told me he is concerned that my health problems will get worse and I will become disabled, sometime in the next 10-30 years. I am overweight, have fibromyalgia, carpal tunnel syndrome and tendinitis. I am eating healthier than I was 3 months ago. What do y’all think?
Post # 3
I think that is all you can do. Eat healthier and work out. And give it TIME. Slowly the weight will come off. Then your health problems will start to get better, which will be amazing. You’ll feel SO good. Instead of spending money at the doctor, you can buy yourself well-deserved new pants! Just keep in mind: it took a long time to put the weight on; it will take time to come off. Don’t beat yourself up too much along the way.
Have you talked to your doctor about what you can do? You have to be careful changing your diet too drastically and definitely ease into working out. Start with walking, then maybe walking on an incline. Low impact type stuff. Especially since you have fibromyalgia.
And keep reminding yourself that it’s so you can live long, happy lives TOGETHER!
Post # 4
Is the weight the main isue, since the rest are possibly affected by it, or are there other treatments you are pursuing?
I think he’s right to be concerned, but if you make a lifestyle change, if should be for YOU, not just him. Besides diet, are there any exercises you can do, like water aerobics?
Post # 5
I think you should ask him to get healthy right along with you. Start a workout program together, and prepare healthy meals together. I’m willing to bet he’s not perfect either, and remind him that you want him to stay healthy, too. 🙂
Post # 6
I absolutley agree, with the conditions you have, especially fibromyalgia, you should start taking good care of your body. I think your doctor would be able to recommend a physical therapist for you to start working with. It will take time, but from what I have read regular exercise can decrease the amount of pain you have from fibromyalgia.
Good luck and make sure that this is on the terms of getting healthy, not just to lose weight.
Post # 7
@mermaid…this is a conversation my Fiance and I had often since our engagement. Since he is a cancer survivor, there is always a risk of cancer coming back and him not being able to be the main bread winner anymore. We have strategized and moved things around and are saving now so that if that happens, we will be able to maintain a decent standard of living indefinitely…especially since I have a minor (age 12) and we want more kids.
In addition, I am a plus-sized woman..so my Fiance and I just encourage each other to eat right and exercise and not smoke and try to drink alcohol sparingly so that we can be here for each other…and so that if I am the one left to take care of things…due to cancer coming back, etc…that I am in the best physical shape to do so.
I think you guys are having the right conversations…the next step is to implement a plan to get both of you up and moving on a regular basis.
Post # 8
Are you going to a doctor for your problems? Also, do you have disability insurance? Since it is possible that you might not be able to work in the future, you should consider getting it now on your own in case something happens so that you don’t end up without any income. The best thing for you would probably be to lose some weight. That will help with your general health.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for your helpful comments and support. One of the difficult parts of this is that I don’t have any health insurance through my work. If we marry, I could be on his excellent insurance. Confession time: we aren’t engaged yet, but are talking about marriage and working through a Dr. Phil communication book. My sweetie is a very kind, tolerant, thoughtful man and has never said a mean word to me. I have started two or three things in the past to improve my help and haven’t been able to stick with anything due to my erratic work schedule and big changes in my personal life (my only child suddenly moved out of the country last fall). Not trying to make you feel sorry for me, just filling in a few details.
Post # 10
@MermaidEve: Could you join something like WeightWatchers? That could really get you started on a healthier lifestyle, no health insurance required ;o)
Post # 11
I totally agree with the strategy of teaming up with your boyfriend to get healthier together. My fiance and I joined a gym together, and it’s awesome – we can motivate one another to work out. I also think it’s way easier to cook healthier for two rather than just one. When I’m only feeding myself, I’ll get home after a long day at work and eat potato chips and ice cream for supper. But when it’s the two of us, whoever gets home first starts cooking supper and we manage to actually eat something nutritious.
Post # 12
Oh i agreed, Weight Watchers is a great start! It helps teach you all about portion sizes (boy was I shocked to learn what a plate should REALLY look like, eek!) and how to balance your foods based on points. It was fun planning food.
Life will always get in the way if you let it. You don’t have to make being healthy a huge part of your life yet–little baby steps that feel natural so you don’t get so overwhelmed you throw in the towel.
What about a free clinic or a physical therapy school? The universities around here have student programs where they “practice” (i hate putting it that way) on the general public. Like if i didn’t have dental insurance, I could go let a dentistry student do my teeth for a really low fee.
I don’t think your husband is being mean about this at all. I think we all hit poitns in our lives where we need our partners to help us along and nudge us onto the better paths, whether it’s eating better, spending more time wth our families, clocking out instead of staying late, driving slower, quitting smoking, wearing their favorite color, etc.
My first advice is to throw out ALL the junk food. And think about all the money you save not buying it! I keep small things around like rich dark chocolate truffles to curb my sweet tooth (i’m not a HUGE chocolate fan but i can plow through some swedish fish! so id on’t keep those around) and always have healthy options to reach for. I ask myself if I need it or if i just want it and evaluate it. But if you don’t keep it around, at least if you can’t go for a walk, you aren’t tempted to eat chips and watch tv. It’s a habit that you have to break. And it’s hard. I just ate a bag of chips and some some lifesavers, but it’s ok because there’s always some wiggle room
Post # 13
Yep – Weight Watchers is great. It really lets you customize your plan to fit your day to day life and needs. Any weight loss plan should be discussed with a doctor, but I am a firm believer that Weight Watchers works long term because it reitterates healthy choices and portion control. Also, there is a site called livestrong.com that is essentially the same thing as Weight Watchers but with calorie counting instead of points – it is also free.
Glad you and your fiance can talk openly about this – it will help to have support!
Post # 14
Off topic a bit – but my friends who have had carpal tunnel really had great benefit from physical therapy. Wishing you all the best with your health – and way to communicate, girl!