(Closed) Weird Bridesmaid Situation

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Hostess
3059 posts
Sugar bee

Please go back and edit your post to add paragraphs.  Youll get better responses.

Post # 4
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

hon, I mean this with love:

PARAGRAPHS.  I had to stop reading.

Post # 5
Member
9900 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Why don’t you just ask her what’s up? Say that you are afraid she’s been distancing herself from you recently and you value your friendship and just want to know if something is wrong.

Kicking her out of the bridal party would end the friendship. If that is what you want to do, then of course you can but given how long you have been friends and that she was close enough to you for you to ask her to be a bridesmaid, I would try a little harder to save the friendship before cutting her out.

Post # 7
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like you felt more of a friendship connection with her than she did with you. 

Post # 8
Member
488 posts
Helper bee

This seems to happen all too often, and I dont get it. Why do people turn wierd all of a sudden? Or is it a longer lasting thing that only seems evident when people start thinking more about it.

I havent really been in this situation wedding-wise, but I would be asking what’s going on. Just saying it seems like we have drifted apart, is something wrong, is there anything shes been wanting to say. It seems like she’s been trying to send a message so I’d give her an out if she wants one. Nothing worse than having someone with you that doesnt want to be there but doesnt say so. 

Post # 9
Member
4073 posts
Honey bee

jass94:  I would kick her out. At this point who cares? She’s made it clear that she doesn’t see the friendship in the same way you do. 

Post # 10
Hostess
3059 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think her behavior is about you.  It sounds like to her, you guys just are not as close as you seem to think.  As far as her being interested only in her wedding, well…perhaps she is just really self involved. I Would stop taking her behavior so personally, and lower your expectations of her.  Your wedding is not nearly as important to her as her own, and it sounds like that’s what you’re seeing.  

If this has caused you to re-evaluate your friendship with her, then ask her to step down and cut off the friendship.  If you care about her and want her to be there for you at your wedding, leave things as they are.

Post # 11
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

dude, why are you spending time and energy on this person? i get it, yall were friends way in the past and you’d like her to join in on your special day. Fair enough. In a nice way, I’d only expect her to show up to the ceremony. Nothing else. She obviously can only handle being the center of her universe – she’s not someone who will emotionally support you with your wedding. Pour more time and energy into an actual friend.

I kind of understand. My best pal from fourth grade was supposed to be getting married this summer too. She was all excited and invited me to the wedding. The couple split before my engagement. I got engaged, I tried and tried to get a hold of her to see if she’d like to attend my wedding. She ghosted. 14 years of friendship just gone. While it sucks, I learn who I should invest my time in. Life is too short.

Post # 12
Member
4085 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

U need to discuss this with her. I know it could be awkward and turn out badly, but me personally I would have to really hear from her mouth what her issue is…

Maybe u two can hash it out and move on or make up, or u can go UR separate ways and stop worrying about whether she is actually a frenemy.. from what u wrote in UR post I would say that’s all she is to U at this point… I don’t think u deserve this strange attitude from her either way And she needs to know that…. Good luck Bee.

Post # 13
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

I’m sorry, but I think she’s making a mockery, of your friendship. She’s repeatedly being mean to you, to the point of being cruel. I think you should meet up with her – if she even shows up at all – and face-to-face tell her that she has a lot going on, and you don’t want to burden her any further, and you would like to offer her the option of attending your wedding as a guest.

Post # 14
Member
47280 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You had a good opportunity to have a talk with her when she said she had already” asked all the girls that are IMPORTANT to me.”

Have a talk with her. Lay it out on the table: that you fully understand that brides can’t ask all their friends to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but that you felt hurt when she said that, See what she says.

 

Post # 15
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’m with 2xmob. Your “friend” sounds pretty darn self centered, and sounds like she’s trying to intentionally be hurtful. Time to move on! 

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