Weird couple rituals

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 61
3393 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

NikkiBee18 :  Yep.. we do the finger in the butthole thing too. We also try to stick our fingers in each other’s noses or mouths. Generally not in order lol

Post # 62
699 posts
Busy bee

frillsandthrills :  Hahahaha definitely! Why have I never thought of that?? I know what tonights pillow talk is going to be..

Post # 63
943 posts
Busy bee

Charliejeorge :  Its hilarious, it leaves our friends thinking we are nuts. We were playing golf once, hubby is super competitive and Im not really, but he was being playfully obnoxious so I threatened to punch him in his uterus, he in turn threatened to punch me in my dick. 

My friend who is a pre med student got a weird look on her face. Then she pulled me aside and asked, “Your husband knows he doesnt have a uterus right?” I died laughing. 

Post # 64
3741 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

Mrs.MilitaryBee :  Ha!! I would have looked at her incredulously and said “WHAAT??!?!” lol 

Post # 65
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

I always figured that most couples have weird stuff they say and do but I was talking to two close friends last weekend and they don’t even have nicknames for each other. One is very unhappy in her marriage and basically only talks to her D.H about the kids. I remember having a thumb war in front of the other couple last summer at a party and they thought we were mad and “like 10 year olds.” That’s the least ‘weird thing we do.

I’m loving some of these so much. I do think it’s generally the sign of a healthy relationship.


Post # 66
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

We CAN’T leave the house without kissing each other! My husband will chase me down if I don’t kiss him goodbye. It’s been going on since practically day one of our relationship.

Post # 67
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

ohana33 :  Hahaha!  I’m so glad I’m not the only one!  It must be a peachy bum thing hahahaha!!

Darling Husband also does the shower screen thing, or he will write rude things on the kitchen window while I’m doing the dishes so the window steams. 

Post # 68
943 posts
Busy bee

EllyAnne :  I was never into the whole nickname thing, but with Darling Husband its different. He calls me Peach, and I call him Yank. Im a southern girl and he is from Michigan. So he is a yankee to me and always will be. He doesnt mind and I dont mind when he calls me peach. 

Post # 69
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Nashville, TN

My Darling Husband calls me monkey and whenever the mood strikes him he’ll give me “monkey bites” which are little pinches all over my body. And he’ll be saying “monkey bites” in a high pitched voice as he does it. Also, we always stick our tongue out at each other. And the most weird….we pinch each other’s nipples at the same time and shake up and down with this weird snarling face we make lol so weird but we crack up!

Post # 70
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Every single one of these posts is cracking me up!

We’re pretty goofy, but a lot of funny things we do are just one-off things, not really “rituals.” Like so many others, there is definitely a good amount of butt grabbing and dry humping that goes on in our apartment, though!

We also have an ongoing “game” where we try to covertly lick each others’ faces — usually while we’re out in public and least expecting it. Like we’ll be chilling at the bar and he’ll lean in to kiss me on the cheek, but then at the last second he’ll lick my cheek instead. 

Much weirder is the ongoing game where he hides one of our butt plugs somewhere in our apartment and waits for me to discover it. One time it took a week for me to find it because it was on top of the ceiling fan! lol

Post # 71
10670 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

This isn’t really a ritual and it wasn’t with my Dh, it was with an ex. But, I’ll post it anyway because I’m a rebel.

You know the “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine . . .” song they play on some commercials?  I think it’s for washing machines or something.

Anyway, the ex and I made up our own lyrics:  “You are my puppy nose, my only puppy nose . . .” you get the gist.

Because what’s cuter than a puppy?  Nothing.

Post # 72
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Oh, one other new “ritual” that I forgot… Before Toys R Us closed for good and was liquidating its inventory, we thought it would be a good idea to take advantage of the low prices and stock up on birthday presents for FH’s nephews and niece. So FH went out and bought a bunch of toys for them… and a set of nerf guns. For us. We’ve only had two nerf fights so far, but I think it’s becoming a new ritual. Just last Saturday, we got back from a night of drinking, and FH emerged from the bedroom and said, “It’s 5 am and we’re adults, so…” and handed me two guns. 😂

Post # 73
393 posts
Helper bee

I’m another one for the finger in butthole action, I love his bum I have to touch it everytime I walk past him, sometimes I drop his pants just to look at it LOL

Whenever we are chilling out together he does this leg wiggle thing and grunts at me and tells me to do my job…which is to tickle his feet haha! 

We don’t really have nicknames for each other, but, he usually refers to me as an animal (mainly a rat) especially when we’re in public, for some reason we find it hilarious especially when we get odd looks haha! In private we refer to each other as the opposite sex, he’s my princess and I’m his boyfriend 😂 

I can’t leave the house without kissing him either, even if he’s asleep or on the toilet, it just has to happen!!

Post # 74
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Everytime someone says a joke that isn’t at all funny, one of us says “am i right, ladies?”.

We have a song “running naked baby” that we as a family sing when we’re getting our son to go from undressing in his room into the tub. It started as “flying naked baby” when he was too young to walk and then graduated to running.

We call our dog “poopoo” and all of our conversations around him tend to find ways to include poo. So last week I scraped my leg and the dog was checking it out and my husband called him “Dr Poopoo, POOhd”.

My husband loves to re-write the lyrics to pretty much any song and include my name or now our son’s.

One of the only rules that absolutely must be followed, no question is that if you go out with your friends and bring home food, you are required to bring home food for the other and wake them up with it. Time and type of food are irrelevant.


Post # 75
41 posts

This is the best thread ever. I must show it to my SO. He is mortified by the idea that someone found out about how we act when we’re alone and is convinced nobody would ever behave as we do.

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