- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Today something weird (well to me it was weird) happened with one of our groomsmen.
A little background…Fiance and I are 44. This is his first marriage, my second (I got married at 20 and was stuck in an abusive marriage almost 20 years until I got the guts to end it). Fiance never married before, and although he was pressured by family to do so, he stuck to his guns and waited until he found the right person (lucky me!). Fiance and I had dated in college, lost touch for 22 years, reconnected after my divorce (thanks, FB), and immediately fell back in love. He is my perfect match and I should have married him the first time. We have a rock solid relationship with great communication and huge mutual respect. He has known the groomsman (GM) since high school. When I first started dating Fiance (three years ago, in our grownup years–not college) Groomsmen made sure he made it clear I’d better have “good intentions and do right by” Fiance, because he’s a great guy. Over the past few years I’ve developed a very good relationship with Groomsmen, we get along fine–but he’s a very gruff person, blunt, bordering on rude and if someone has a sensitive personality, he would intimidate or upset them frequently. Luckily, I know how to let it roll off my back and we’ve never had an issue. I actually like Groomsmen very much and enjoy hanging out with him. Groomsmen has a stormy relationship with his wife, she is very volatile (like hitting him with the frying pan volatile) and they split/reconcile frequently. I think they are “back on” right now. One huge issue in their relationship is GM’s penchant for strip clubs, pisses her off to no end and he spends a lot of time and money at them. Not sure if he goes all the time any more but I’ve been told he’s a big fan. Fiance is not a fan–about 8 years ago when he went to his friend’s bachelor party weekend in New Orleans he skipped the strip club part and went to the historic district with another friend to see a jazz band. He just isn’t into going I guess. Says it’s a waste money and time and there are other more interesting things to do.
That being said, today I had to drive with Groomsmen for over an hour to take him to buy his new truck, we are buying his other one to use for work. So he picked me up, we headed out…two minutes into the ride he opened up the console and said, “hey, I’ve got some pics of your man for you. They are from our trip 10 years ago to Key West”. As soon as he said this, I knew what they were. They went to the famous Key West parade, and it’s like Mardi Gras–lots of drinking, partying etc. Many women also go topless with body paint. Years back, my Fiance had shown me the pics of him and Groomsmen at all the parts of their trip, which included the parade, and there were a few of them posing with random topless girls all painted up. No biggie. I wasn’t upset to see them then, and when Groomsmen showed me today I wasn’t upset either. The first pic was of Fiance next to a car shaped like a chili pepper. The next three were the pics of Fiance and the random girls. (LOL you can tell he was uncomfortable, he was totally blushing, laughing and standing between them awkwardly averting his eyes–it’s actually pretty funny. He’s a little shy like that and I find it endearing).
Anyway, when Groomsmen showed me the pics, I looked at the top one of the car, then looked at the other few pics and just said, “oh yeah, I saw these a few years ago, they’re funny–you guys had a blast on that trip right? We have the same set of pictures at home.” and we chatted about the trip for a couple minutes and then the conversation just naturally took another turn.
I just thought it was a little disrespectful and strange for him to go so far out of his way to bring me those pictures–almost like he was testing me to see if I was crazy jealous and would flip out or get upset something. It’s not like we were sitting looking through photo albums or something, he had to dig them out, they are over 10 years old, and then purposely bring them to me. He also left out the ones of the two of them, or just himself with the girls. I’m honestly not bothered by the pics at all, but I am puzzled by the whole thing. Why would he go out of his way to do that? At first I thought he was just being douchey but then when I thought about it and how his wife is I thought maybe he was giving me one last “test” to make sure I’m good enough for Fiance, whom he is a little protective over.
My question is–what do you guys think? Am I wrong for thinking that a little bit of a weird thing to do, especially to someone’s fiancee three months before their wedding? I kind of think it was totally unnecessary and a little classless. And we are all in our 40s, so to me it was a little childish, almost like he was trying to stir up problems and I have no idea why. I’m not going to make an issue of it at all, I’m debating even mentioning it to Fiance and if I do it won’t be in a bad way. I just wanted to get the Bees’ opinions because everyone here always has such good points of view.
Wow, sorry that’s a book!