(Closed) Weird, douchey or what?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah, for lack of a better word, it seems douchey. I think he was just trying to get a rise out of you and you handled it well. You can bring it up with your Fiance if it is really weighing on you, or you could just let it go.

The pics of your awkward Fiance with these random topless girls actually sound hilarious!

Post # 4
Member
2601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think that like most things, it has to do more with him than you or your Fiance. I imagine that he’s probably using you as a barometer for how he thinks his own wife should or shouldn’t react to his stripclub antics–ie, he might be trying to figure out whether his own wife is “normal.” OR, he’s trying to gage whether Fiance will be his “partner in crime” (which isn’t really up to you so much as it is to FI). I mean, it’s such a weird thing to do without having some kind of personal motivation for it–doing it solely to drive a wedge between you and Fiance would make him CRAZY douchey, in my book.

That’s my take on it.

But if you don’t like it, I would continue to do what you’re doing, which is be nonplussed, and otherwise try to avoid being alone with him. Your Fiance sounds like a great guy who behaves, and I think that he’ll (the friend) start to take his cues from watching how trust operates in your marriage anyway, rather than trying to goad some sort of reaction out of you.

Post # 5
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

douchey.

Post # 6
Member
6247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Sounds like he’s a “drama queen” (for lack of a better term). He likes to stir the pot. Good for you for letting it roll right off your shoulder and not stooping to his level.

Post # 7
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  Aww, what a pal! 🙂

  In all seriousness (and please correct me if I missed something in the post), out of curiousity, when you and your Fiance broke up the first time, how did it end? Was it on decent terms, or was it a messy break up? Maybe the Groomsmen is worried about his friend’s feelings, and especially with what he’s going through with his relationship, maybe this sticks out a little more.

  This also, in some ways, makes me think of my Future Brother-In-Law on some level. Future Brother-In-Law has a very, very dry sense of humor. It can be hard to tell if he’s joking or serious. When he has hung out with myself, Fiance, and our mutual friends, some of our mutual friends have thought that Future Brother-In-Law was a jerk. It was hard for me to tell if he was joking with me, so I took everything as a joke. If it felt like it was crossing a line, I would say, “I’m sorry, I feel like I’m getting some mixed signals, are you joking around with me?”

  I think you handled the situation very well!

Post # 9
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee

Weird. Some guys think it’s funny to get their friends in trouble with their significant others. I think it’s kind of douchey behavior.

I found out my first boyfriend was cheating on me because we were talking over the phone one day and a friend of his very loudly yelled to him “Hey is that [girl I was already suspicous of]? Man you guys can’t get enough of each other! [My name] must be an idiot or something!”. This dude then proceeds to laugh in the background as I scream at my now ex-boyfriend for 5 minutes. I think he was trying to do me a favor in the douchiest way possible. 

Post # 10
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@keepsmiling19:  I don’t think the OP has ever split with her Fiance. I think she was talking about the Groomsmen and his wife who split/reconcile frequently. 

Post # 14
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@sehrler:  Ohhh, okay! Sorry for the confusion…this is what happens when I don’t slow down and read :-). That is really cute that he still has his old college book with your number in it!

Post # 15
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Douchey. Tell your Fiance so he can start looking for new friends

Post # 16
Member
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

No, it was weird, and a little tactless. Kudos to you for taking it well. 

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