Post # 17
Yep, I get those comments. We get along and I think that things are good between us but she just makes comments that are passive aggressive like that. I’ve never loved her due to this side of her personality from the beginning, but I just always let it go. My husband has got a lot better about shutting her up if she does this lately so it makes me feel a lot better. I realized that it is just her personality and I don’t have to love her to be married to her son. I think when we have kids it will be different though, if she makes these comments about anything to do with my parenting or what not I will speak up to her then. I know it sucks, just know you aren’t alone! MILs can be a pain.
PS. I cannot believe she would expect you to give her your baby for a WEEK! Overnight could be normal, but a week?? What in the world is she thinking?
Post # 18
I can imagine the hurt you are going through! Just grin and bear it and pick your battles. (Just like you did about not giving up your son for a week. And I cannot imagine why anyone would even WANT to keep someone else’s baby for a whole week! Babies are not easy to take care of!)
My Mother-In-Law is not like that but my SIL is. She just started university and acts super childish. She complains that I am ‘too nice’ to her and she’s not used to it. She will ignore when I say ‘hi’ when I see her. Her parents had terrible relationship with eachother and split up when she was an early teen. Mom walked out on them but still stayed heavily involved in their lives. But SIL doesn’t want to seem to mature. And she will say the stupidest shit to pretty much all her family, including me, even though I have had no part in her messed up upbringing.
The only thing that gets me through is that I have learned to keep shut and just do the basics. I.e. say hello and goodbye and keep the conversation to a bare minimum. That way there’s a lot less ammo for her.
But oh man, does it ever hurt my feelings! It’s painful to be punished for a crime you didn’t commit, eh!
Post # 19
Shelbs you are a more gracious woman than me! I’d be so upset if my Mother-In-Law said some of those things to me 🙁 I also can’t believe she expected to take your baby for a WEEK!!! I’ve never heard of anything so crazy.
I can sympathise though. My Mother-In-Law is not too bad, but although she’s glad I make her son happy and have stuck around, I’m not her “cup of tea”. I’m too polite (she tells me this and when she’s had too much to drink she gets quite mad at me about it) I’m a bit of a “princess” (because I don’t like camping). I’m too “prissy” (she has issues with my parent’s religion and even though I’m not religious myself she thinks I’m too highly strung just because I don’t need to get drunk to have fun) I’ve sort of learnt to just brush most of this off too. A lot of what she says is when she’s tipsy. No excuse, but there’s no point in taking it too much to heart.
She has also been known to spit out my cooking (it wasn’t bad by the way, just not to her tastes). To get upset when she invites strangers to crash at OUR house for their convenience (we live in the city) and then I had to say no because we had other guests or weren’t home or were sick etc.
But when we recently got engaged, it was the worst. I was fortunate enough to get an engagement ring bigger than we could afford because I have an Aunt in the diamond trade who helped us with the purchase. It’s gorgeous, but not obscene. When she saw it, she said “wow, it’s BIG. I suppose I thought you’d always go for something more”… then she paused and said “tasteful”. That hurt a little. Then she said she always thought I’d go for something smaller because I’m a small girl. I laughed and said that well I’m not so small any more (medication has made me put on a lot of weight in the past 12 months – something she knows about and something she knows I’m VERY upset/sensitive about). Then she PATTED my bloated stomach and told me that yes, a lot of people will think we’re getting engaged because I’m PREGNANT. I’m not pregnant. She knows I’m not pregnant. She knows I feel so self conscious about my weight. Saying I look pregnant almost made me cry.
Sometimes I wish she’d be more overtly horrible so I’d have an excuse to get really mad at her or to tell my boy I want to see them less (they come and visit us and stay with us regularly just because we live in a convenient location). Isn’t that terrible? I have to work hard on not letting her get to me and trying to maintain a “good” relationship though, for both of our sakes.
Post # 20
When we were still going out FHs mom said right in front of me “Oh I just wish FH had tried dating ‘insert name of his best female friend’ instead.” O_O yeah.