- 7 years ago
Regular poster here, posting under a new name because I am truly embarassed by this. Please no comments of “just get over it” or “thats so stupid..” 🙁 This is something that, to me, is very VERY real and it has affected me as long as I can remember (I am mid-20s now)
To put it bluntly, I am scared of throwing up. Terrified. My entire life revolves around this fear. To explain… I don’t even know where to start.
As an example, since it is winter now and the air is colder and drier, my throat is often more dry than it used to be. This makes me feel a little “gaggy” and I get really nervous that I’m about to gag and throw up. Or just gag – gagging is bad enough for me. I am constantly sucking on cough drops, sipping water, but sometimes I get this dry throat feeling where I have to chug water until it goes away because I feel like I’m about to gag.
Another example – I don’t like travelling, at all. Not even to a neighborhood restaurant with friends, because what if I get a stomachache and feel nauseous? I never eat very much because sometimes if I get too full, I get stomach upsets and in my panic, I elevate it to the point where I’m convinced I’m about to throw up. And don’t even get me started on travelling on planes or busses – there is no “out” on these in case I feel sick. If I am driving, at least I can pull over and calm down if need be.
I get so terribly anxious about having an upset stomach/throwing up, that often I worry myself into having a gaggy throat/upset stomach. When otherwise, I am perfectly fine. It has become such a problem lately that I am anxious the entire time Fiance isn’t with me (to help calm me down), or when I’m driving home alone (and my throat often starts to “close up” and I panic while I drive).
I don’t really expect anyone to relate … but.. this is affecting my life SO MUCH. I know it is purely psychological, and not a medical problem I have. I have tried counseling previously, and it didn’t really help. I am planning on trying again, but after the holidays after my insurance kicks in.
Um.. I don’t even know what I’m asking for. Help? Advice? Please be kind. This is something I am very ashamed about, and something I HATE about my life.