- 1 month ago
- Wedding: April 2020
Just wondering if/hoping any other ladies can relate to this, or am I an asshole? I hope this isn’t Too Much Information.
Since turning 16 (I’ll be 28 in a few weeks) my cycle has been pretty regular. I’ve always experienced your typical PMS symptoms, and they’ve gotten a bit worse since I’ve gotten into my later 20’s, and even more pronounced since becoming regularly sexually active. I become emotional about ridiculous things, I’ll cry if a song comes on the radio that reminds me of someone I love, I’ll cry for no reason at all. While I’m usually a level-headed person that is difficult to get worked up, I become incredibly anxious, irritable, and sometimes a big depressed 1-2 weeks before my period starts.
Unfortunately, my fiance more and more has become the target of this irritability. I love him very much and we are incredibly supportive of one another. I’m very sexually attracted to him and vice versa. We both have very high drive and are never too tired for it. The weird thing is, the week that PMS happens, there is like a 3-day stretch where EVERYTHING he does annoys me, and my sex drive plummets almost into non-existence.
Examples: I love kissing and I LOVE having my neck kissed. Suddenly, during these weird phases, I HATE having my neck kissed and will go so far as to push him off me because it completely turns me off. It confuses the hell out of him – he’s really good at all that sexy stuff and knows I love it, but suddenly it irritates the hell out of me. If I get any saliva on my neck, it’s the end of the world (I know that’s kinda gross).
Last month, I was PMSing pretty badly, so he cheerfully suggested he take me to the coast and treat me to a nice lunch by the water. He was in a great mood and trying to be cheerful even though I was miserable and grumpy for no reason (PMS). He started reading items off the menu out loud that he thought I would like. Normally I wouldn’t even notice this because it wouldn’t bother me, but without even thinking, I snapped at him to “BABE, stop, I can read”. The hurt look on his face made me start crying (we don’t speak to each other like this), and I immediately apologized and told him I don’t know why I said that. He got over it quickly like he always does, but I felt like an asshole.
This happens like clockwork – it lasts a couple days a week or two before my period, so I assume it has to be that. But it really throws me off, and makes me stress about why he becomes so annoying for a day or two even though he’s his same cheerful, helpful, busy self. And why I let it get the better of me and become such a jerk to him when he’s done nothing wrong, and then it makes us both feel bad.
Obviously I need to knock it off and control the urges to snap and keep it to myself, because it can only cause damage even though he’s very understanding of the whole PMS thing. But does anyone else experience these weird aversions or intense mood swings or decrease in sex drive during PMS? I’m not looking for medical advice because I know I shouldn’t be getting that here – I’ve done a bit of research and have heard of PMDD, but I don’t think the symptoms are quite that serious.
I didn’t mean for this to get long – thanks in advance for reading.