(Closed) Weird problem: FI’s family may be throwing TOO many parties (a bit long)

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I talk to M's aunt about NOT having a second bridal shower?
    Yes, that's unfair to MOH : (2 votes)
    8 %
    No, just enjoy the two parties : (12 votes)
    48 %
    Talk to MOH about it first : (9 votes)
    36 %
    I have a brilliant solution that I will post below! : (2 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Ask them to do it together. Explain to M’s Aunt that you would really love her touches added to this party. Let your Maid/Matron of Honor know that you need her to help you so that this doesn’t get crazy. Any good Maid/Matron of Honor would be happy to bail you out in this situation I think.

    Post # 3
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Ask them to do it together. Explain to M’s Aunt that you would really love her touches added to this party. Let your Maid/Matron of Honor know that you need her to help you so that this doesn’t get crazy. Any good Maid/Matron of Honor would be happy to bail you out in this situation I think.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    let his aunt throw you a party! your moh will mostly invite your family and friends. his aunt will invite mostly her family and friends. of course your immediate family will be invited to both, but if they don’t show up, well that’s their problem. if there’s anyone you should talk to, it’s your parents. ask them to support you.

    most brides have more than one shower for different “groups” of guests. be grateful! and talk to your parents about their major lack of support, because that’s the problem here.

    Post # 5
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    i think it is okay that the guest list is cut in half.  It means that doesnt have to pay so much per person for food.  As long as you have about 6 people there it is a party right? 

    Post # 6
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Where I’m from we have ALOT of showers, not just one by the Maid/Matron of Honor. Many people just offer because they want to do something nice for you. So far, I have a mom and daughter from FI’s church hosting a shower, two more ladies from FI’s church hosting a shower, my church ladies hosting a shower, and my FI’s sisters hosting a shower. I think it is perfectly fine to have more than one, and if you want to let your Aunt know that you don’t expect alot of your family to show then you can adjust the guest list accordingly. Just be thankful you have a loving future Aunt that wants to do something kind for you, and don’t let your family ruin that!Smile Best Wishes!

     

    EDIT:

    Also I completely agree with the above posters…you shouldn’t invite most of the same people to more than one shower. It is custom here for the hostess to ask the bride for a guest list to prevent this–and so guests that know each other or have something in common are invited to same events in order to ensure they have a good time (and so only people invited to the wedding are invited to showers). 

    Post # 7
    Member
    714 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @Oribel013690:  You can have more than one shower but you really need to make sure you don’t invite the same guests to more than one party. 

    If your engagement party is going to be a gift giving occasion and your Aunt intends to invite the same people, I would discourage her if not decline – I think inviting people to more than one pre-wedding gift giving event is really straining the generosity of even the most loving friends and family and starts to look gift-grubby.

    Post # 8
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @kitzy: I’m with you!

    Let his aunt throw you a separate shower from your MOH!  Outside of your immeadiate families, the guests lists really wouldn’t be the same anyways.  Your MOH’s shower would be largely yours and FI’s friends while the aunt’s shower would be largely extended family.  It really isn’t that uncommon to have more than one shower.

    And if your family wants to be rude and not show up to anythingin support of you and your Fiance – that is their problem, not yours.  Don’t let their rudeness stop you from allowing others to do nice things for you!

    Post # 9
    Member
    875 posts
    Busy bee

    I agree with the other posters about having two showers!  You definitely should go ahead and do that!  In my area, it’s pretty common for women to have more than one shower.  Some brides might even have three or four.  Normally there’s a bride’s family one, a groom’s family one, and a girlfriend party, as well as a work related girl’s night out shower.  Normally the two family parties are the extended family of the groom with the bride’s mom, grandmas, sisters or bridesmaids and the extended family of the bride with the groom’s mom, grandmas, his sisters… in other words it’s not the entire family group going to both, but rather just a small group attends both events…

    Post # 10
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    This might sound crazy…but don’t worry about it! If your family doesn’t want to come, say okay, and then have a fabulous time at your shindig. Don’t let the anyone rain on your parade. And don’t be afraid if someone asks why they’re not there….just say honestly, “they couldn’t make it. Isn’t this pie really good!?!?! I think I’m going to get some more.”

    As far as M’s aunt and your Maid/Matron of Honor…tell them about each other and the situation. Let them figure it out. They may decide to proceed as normal or they may decide to throw one big shindig. Either way, it doesn’t matter. You’ll have fun regardless.

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