(Closed) weird rehearsal dinner budget question.

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think that since they’re paying, you should be happy with what you get…just my opinion. You can make suggestions, but do so in a kind way. Even though you think they’re well-off financially, they may not want to spend $15 a plate on a rehearsal dinner.

Post # 4
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Talk to you Future In-Laws and see what they can afford and what they’d like to do and talk to them about what their budget is.  Just because his brother wanted a barbecue rehearsal doesn’t mean that they’ll limit you to that because they may understand that your tastes are different.

Post # 5
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think that if you are willing to pay for your own rehearsel dinner then go for it and have your rehearsel dinner at a resturant, but if you want your Future Mother-In-Law to pay for it then I don’t think you have a say so much in where it will be.

Post # 6
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree that you can tell them that you would like it to be at a resturant but don’t be suprised if it gets shot down.

Post # 7
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I will add that my Future Brother-In-Law had a small SMALL wedding and didn’t even have a rehearsal dinner and while we’re not having one now, we were originally going to and fiance’s parents asked us where we wanted it within reason of a certain price.  I don’t know if your Future In-Laws are the same way with things like that.

Post # 8
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’d just step back and let her do whatever she wants.  You have a lot on your plate planning a wedding.  Give up control of the dinner, and I think you will both be happier!

Post # 10
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d put your fiance in charge of dealing with it honestly.  Ask him to find out an approximate budget so you can get an idea of what to plan.  Your Future Mother-In-Law probably isn’t going to know the addresses and such of who all needs to be invited, so you’ll have to have at least some hand in planning it, and you need to know their vision and budget.  But I’d certainly be flexible in your vision to at least meet them in the middle.

Post # 11
Member
46647 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You did say that you and your  FMIL are traditional. Having said that, tradition is that if the FIL’s are paying , they get to decide what they are paying for.

I would have a talk with her with your FH present. Tell her that you would prefer dinner in a restaurant and ask her if you can help locate a venue that would suit her budget.

Post # 12
Member
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My FIL’s are paying for the Rehearsal Dinner.  FH and I talked about what we were looking to receive from the Rehearsal Dinner and then when FIL’s came to us to talk about it FH did all the communicating with them.  Its worked out great.  Is it possible you and your FH chat about what you envision for a Rehearsal Dinner and then your FH can communicate that with FIL’s?

Also, maybe you can learn more about FIL’s budget and go from there…

I don’t necessarily agree with the “they are paying, its their say, be happy with what you get…” mentality.  That isn’t a great way to feel about a dinner thats honoring you and FH and I don’t think that is the way your FIL’s would want you to feel.

Post # 13
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@eliwhit:  Perhaps you can have a discussion, find out what they are willing to pay per person and then very tactfully ask if they’d mind if you pitched in so you can have it where you want it..that is if you can afford to pitch in….

Post # 14
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

My inlaws gave me a choice for our rd. A big party at their house (which is obviously cheaper) or a smaller, wedding party only thing at a restaurant.

I agree with the others, be happy that they’re paying for it and throwing it for you, or just do it yourself how you want it. If she’s traditional and wants to throw it, it might hurt your relationship if you say you don’t want them to do it. How important is the rd to you?

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