(Closed) Weird Relationship with best friend after engagment.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee

Not a lot of people can stand to hear wedding stuff all the time. Maybe he wishes he was in a serious relationship.

Your options are to let the friendship die (which seems sad if he is your best friend) or to step up, open the lines of communication, and ask. “I feel like things have been strained lately in our friendship, is there anything on your mind?”

Post # 3
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Confront him. Maybe he is jealous hes not at that point in his life, or maybe he secretly liked you? IDK hard to tell when you havent given much background.

Post # 4
Member
2452 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Honestly, I wouldn’t jump to “he’s jealous he’s not getting married” (he’s a dude, not a chick) or that he’s secretly in love with you. I think he’s probably just a guy who doesn’t want to hear anything wedding related because, seriously, what guy likes talking about this stuff? unless he’s the groom. He’s probably acting like an “a hole” because his best friend got engaged and suddenly all conversations turned to wedding planning and she went ghost on him because she’s too busy. I understand why you want to talk about your wedding and I get why you’re busy but I don’t think it’s fair to call him an a-hole when you may be the contributing factor in this.

Talk to him about why he’s been acting differently and agree to not bring up wedding stuff. One of my best guy friends didn’t even care to look at my ring when I got engaged simple because he’s a guy, not because he’s jealous or madly in love with me. My other close guy friend talks wedding planning with me all the time because he’s getting married next year and going through all the same stuff.

Post # 5
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I barely care about weddings and I’m a married woman. I can only imagine how much less a single man cares.

Post # 6
Member
2921 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Why are you talking to a single guy about wedding planning??

When I planned my wedding I never spoke about it unless someone asked. In my opinion anything else could easily result in my becoming a bore or a smug git. And wedding planning never superseded my friendships.

Honestly, if I were you I’d find out what is going on with him and be open to taking the blame. At least a portion. And I would shut my mouth about the wedding. I don’t ask my best guy mate for advice about dresses for a reason.

Post # 7
Member
2354 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

mimigirl7:  It sounds like a typical case of he DGAF about your non-stop wedding planning. Also, you said yourself you’re pulling away from him….because of your wedding planning. 

Do you think maybe you can bring it up to him? A simple “Hey. Are we ok?” can do wonders. 

Post # 8
Member
6340 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Do you make sure to talk to him about stuff other than the wedding? Ask him what’s going on in his life? Guy or girl, it’s annoying to any friend to just constantly talk about wedding planning 24/7. 

Post # 10
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

Aside from not caring one iota about wedding plans, how is his relationship with your fiance? Do they get along? Maybe he feels weird now, like he shouldn’t be overstepping any boundries or something. 

Post # 11
Member
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Even if your wedding is weeks — or heck, days — away you should still make time for your friends and the important people in your life.  I get it — you’re busy — but in a way EVERYONE is busy.  You still need to make time for those people who are important to you.  When I was wedding planning this summer I not only didn’t have a paycheck due to being between jobs but I also had some major health issues and was at the doctor all.the.time.  Plus I was preparing for my new job this school year.  Even so I STILL made time for my friends.  I made sure to go out with them when I could.  I made sure to call them up if I needed to talk.  I made sure to be there for my one friend who was going through a tough time.  Yeah I declined on some social invitations once in a while, but I also made sure to maintain my relationships.  It’s easy to get caught up in wedding planning but don’t let yourself get so busy that you put important friendships aside.

Post # 12
Member
473 posts
Helper bee

I see two possibilities here: 

1) He’s tired of any and all conversation revolving around you, your SO, and your wedding. Seriously, here on the Bee everyone is interested in weddings. But the general population usually isn’t that interested unless it’s THEIR wedding.

2) Sounds like somebody might like you. 

Post # 13
Member
6340 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
mimigirl7:  You said because he’s a guy it’s not like you’re going to go up to him and ask if he’s okay. Why not? He’s still a person. You said he’s your best friend and you can’t ask if he’s alright? My best friend is also a guy and I definitely ask him what’s wrong if he’s acting funny. 

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