Post # 1
please help me i am addressing invites and ran into the following scenarios ( i am not doing an inner envelope just an outer with rsvp postcard: i need to get these done like yesterday and im freaking out!
1. My fiances Aunt, has a non live-in boyfriend, and a live in son whos over 18 years old. i dont want the son to bring a guest only the aunt.
2. family…did you put or should it say Grandpa Smith or Mr. Joe Smith ?? Ms. Linda Jones or Aunt Jones?
3. 3 adults in one household, no relation. is there any way i can address one invite for all and just stick in 3 rsvp postcards???
4. can i invite my dads serious girlfriend that i really like but not my moms live in boyfriend who is an unemployed drunkard and super embarassing and will drink too much at my wedding?
5. cousin whos married and their kids… is this right? Mr. and Mrs. Justin Jones and family?
Post # 3
Here are my thoughts:
1. I’d do two separate invitations if you can, just to make it clear who’s invited… but there still might be some confusion.
2. Just do Mr. or Mrs. not Aunt/Uncle, etc.
3. Again, I’d do separate invitations, but I guess it depends on your formality level. If it’s informal, perhaps they won’t care?
4. I really don’t think you can invite one parent’s partner and not the other.
5. I think Mr. and Mrs. Justin Jones and family is fine. Or even Mr. and Mrs. Jones and family, if you want to shorten it a bit (though the etiquette books might disagree on cutting out “Justin”)
Post # 4
1. aunt gets an invitation with a plus one- 2 seats reserved on the RSVP card
son gets separate invitation with no plus one- 1 seat reserved on RSVP card
2. family should be properly addressed by first and last name. You can always add a little note to “Grandpa” inside.
3. 3 adults not related all get separate invitations
4.no, you can’t invite your Dad’s girlfriend and not your Mom’s boyfriend. Hios behavior will be a reflection on her taste in men, not yours.
5. It is correct to add “and family “if you have no inner envelope.
Post # 4
1) Send the son his own invite, he is 18 so that is fine and just don’t add “and guest.” Just send the aunt an invite, and add “and guest” on hers.
2) I will do all my family invites formally. It is just easier. I think formal just looks better and it shows an amount of respect.
3) I think you need to send three different invites. That is usually what etiquette dictates. I mean you can do that, but what if the invite gets lost or the person doesn’t give the other two people their RSVP cards?
4) I would tread lightly with that. Showing favouritism amongest your parents can cause some serious drama to go down. IMO, you should let them take both their partners. If you really don’t want your mom’s boyfriend there, prepare for some serious drama from your mom.
5) Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Justin Jones and family sound correct.
Post # 5
Here’s my opinion
1.Send one invite to your aunt and guest, then one to your cousin seperate.
2. Their names, “Linda Jones”
3. I’d do seperate ones but I don’t think it’s tacky or anything to do one.
4. Probabaly not. 🙁 Though you may be able to get the bartender to water down his drinks or something.
5. I would just put “The Jones Family” but your idea sounds good too.
Post # 6
1. I would send the 18 year old son a seperate invite. Maybe put on his RSVP card “one seat has been reserved in your honor.”
2. I did mine old fashioned: Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. Some people find this offensive but my family is pretty laid back and I don’t think they mind. For some of my co workers I just wrote John and Jane Doe.
3. I would send them all seperate invites.
4. I think you have to invite both if you are inviting one. Have you talked to your mom about how you feel? I have a couple people coming to my wedding that fit into that boat but they are not as close as a parent’s partner.wedding?
5. That is what I did.
Post # 7
thanks for all of the quick responses. i think you are all right, and it would be best to send seperate invites to the same address for anyone over 18.
i still don’t want to budge about my moms bf! i felt i should give more details about the subject and i put it in its own post here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-to-deal-with-moms-bf-and-dads-gf after u read this you might change ur vote im serious!
my mom has no idea how etiquette in weddings work, so she might not even be privvy to the fact that her bf is not there, but my dads gf is…with all due respect to my mom, shes sort of air-headed when it comes to things like that :o)
Post # 8
ohh! and one more thing…i have two married aunts and their husbands both travel alot they have both verbally told me that their husbands probably wont be able to make it.
do i address the invite still as Mrs. and Mrs. Jim Smith ?
Post # 9
@triplemtobe: I’d still invite people, even if you know they’re not coming. That lets them know that you wanted them to be there, and makes it their choice not to come.
Post # 10
For your married aunts, I would still address the invitation to both husband and wife, even though you know the husbands may not be able to make it.
Post # 11
1. Separate invitations to the Aunt, tne non-live-in boyfriend, and the son. The son can’t complain that he “doesn’t get” a guest, because no-one does. YOU are inviting the non-live-in boyfriend as one of YOUR guests.
2. Mr Joseph Smith. Ms Linda Jone. You may be on first-name and pet-name basis with them, but the postman isn’t.
3. 3 unrelated adults –> three separate invitations. You CAN send one invitation for all, but it wouldn’t be gracious.
4. Send a separate invitation to dad’s serious girlfriend as YOUR guest. Unfortunately though since mom’s drunkard boyfriend is a live-in, he’s equivalent-to-married. Even if dad didn’t have a girlfriend you’d probably have to invite him by name on your mom’s invitation. But you can *try* the “well, you’re not married, mom” argument and see how well it flies. It will probably cause hard feelings with mom if you try it.
5. Mr. and Mrs. Justin Jones
Jacob, Emily, Jennifer
(“and family” could mean the dog and the third cousins, and Jacob’s girlfriend who’s just like family, honest)