(Closed) Weird Situation, can you please help me with this question?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would still invite her 🙂 but probably wouldnt expect another gift. i doubt she will feel obligated to buy another… but who knows. 🙂

Post # 4
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i would invite her to the shower but maybe when you see or call her to let her know about the gifts, let her know that it was enough and make sure she knows not to get anything else….that’s if you can pull that off without it sounding awkward!

Post # 5
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yeah, definitely still invite her. Who knows, maybe she intended for one of them to be a shower gift. I’m not sure about using them yet, though, sorry I don’t have advice on that one.

Post # 6
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would still invite her to the shower, but let her know you are countingi the gifts she already sent as wedding and shower gifts.

Post # 6
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with what @PurpleUnicorn: said.  Invite her to the shower when you get the gift. A quick phonecall to thank her for the gift, say it was way over the top and you love it, your very grateful and would love to have her at the showes sans gift.

Post # 7
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

I would definitely still invite!  I think gift-giving is up to the giver! She may or may not bring something to the shower.  As for using the gifts, that is entirely up to you!  We used maybe one or two things, but most we saved for after our wedding, so that it would be special.  We were moving though, so it was also easier to leave things in boxes/at our parents’ houses.

Post # 8
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

still invite. if you talk to her, maybe mention that you know she already gave you a gift and want her to enjoy the party. Maybe you can either verbally acknowledge her gift at the shower or bring it to show off during the gift opening (if she’d feel embarassed coming empty handed)

Post # 9
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I would for sure invite her.  Who knows, she may decide not to come since she already got the gifts.  I agree with the response to let her know she doesn’t have to buy another gift for the shower.  And personally, I would use them.  🙂  If she doesn’t ask, don’t say you did but then if she does you can say “yes, the X works great!.”

Post # 10
46411 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It;s been said except -No, you can’t  start using your gifts until after the wedding. Do send out your thank-you notes as you receive your gifts- or at least write then out and set them aside for mailing. You will be so glad that you did them as they came in rather then wait and have them all to do after the wedding.

Post # 11
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve heard you should open gifts shipped to you straight away to make sure nothing is broken. If something breaks in the mail, the store you registered with will replace it. I don’t know how easy it would be to get the replacement 2 months down the road. But I do think it makes sense to call her and ask if she would like you to set aside one to open for the shower.

Post # 12
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I agree with @KitKatNYC: on opening to make sure it’s safe.  

As for using it, the reason to NOT use it is in case the wedding doesn’t go through.  If the wedding doesn’t happen, then you’re SUPPOSED to send the gifts back to who sent them.

I am NOT saying it won’t happen, I’m just saying that’s why it’s said to not use the gifts until after the wedding.  

Personally, I’d say it’s up to you.  Send a thank you, invite her to the shower, and thank her profusely at shower and wedding for the lovely gifts (if you want).  

Post # 13
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i agree with what others have said about inviting her to the shower.

Traditionally you’re not supposed to use wedding gifts until after the wedding because if the wedding gets called off you’re supposed to return them to the person. I would definately open them though, just to check to make sure nothing is broken or whatever.

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