(Closed) Weird situation – should I contact him?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
3586 posts
Sugar bee

I mean you were drunk so maybe he is unsure if he should have taken you serious.  I would just send a small text. You are no strangers to each other and i think you could move past the who will text who first.

Post # 4
2257 posts
Buzzing bee
  1. Read He’s Just Not That Into You. I think I bought it for $5 on my iPad. Seriously, it changed how I dated men. No more guess work. It’s pretty well laid out.
  2. Men like to play it cool. It’s what they’re told. For them, they don’t want to look too eager. Wait a few days. My fiance was going to wait a few days to ask me out, but I got tired of waiting so I asked him “When were you going to ask me out?”
  3. There’s nothing wrong with you texting him. Or calling him. Calling is good. No one does that anymore. But I think that all communication after that should be initiated by him.
  4. Pay attention to WHEN he contacts you. If he waits until the last minute each week, say Friday and Saturday, it’s pretty telling. Guys who are more into you will typically plan ahead and will reach out prior to Thursday.

To me, it sounds like he isn’t that into the idea of dating you. If the thought of asking you out hadn’t occurred to him the first few times you two slept together, my thought is much of your relationship is going to be centered around you instigating things.

Post # 6
220 posts
Helper bee

nyyysf2014:  Its hard to say because its only been 2 days, and you can’t expect to constantly text.  See what happens in the next week or two, but if you’re the one who’s always texting him and he never initiates, or only puts in effort to take you out for pay for things when sex is involved, then I think its time to say goodbye.

I’ve been in a similar situation, where the guy said “sure, we’ll date and see where this goes”.  I was young and naive, and suffice to say, it was very easy for him to dangle carrots in front of my face, and pretty much didn’t respect me as a *potential* partner in a relationship.  He only ever put in effort to get laid.  

good luck!  

Post # 8
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I hate to say it but I think he’s more interested in you as a booty call than a girlfriend. 

Post # 11
231 posts
Helper bee

Oh my god no! Just stop please. Do not text do not call do not do anything! If a man wants to be with you he will be. Period. He has your contact details and yet he isn’t contacting you. Why? Because he doesn’t want to. He knows you want a relationship and yet he hasn’t given you one. Why? Because he doesn’t want to. Stop sleeping with him and accepting his scraps. This is a hard lesson to learn (trust me I know) but once you learn you’ll be better off 

Post # 12
2573 posts
Sugar bee

You should read the book “why men marry bitches” it will change your dating life

Post # 14
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I wouldn’t text him. I played the “if he’s into me he’ll text me first” game with a guy I had been dating casually for 3 months but it had turned more into hooking up, and he never texted me again. So I moved on.

If he does text you again, consider telling him you need to be wooed if this is going to work. And don’t sleep with him the next time you see him. If he can’t handle one date without sex, he isn’t worth it.

Whatever happens, good luck!


Post # 15
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I do think that you need to stop the sex for a few dates. I would just say, “Hey, we kinda jumped the gun with the sex. Let’s go out a few times and see how we do just, I don’t know, talking.” How he responds will be very telling…

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