(Closed) Weird situation – should I contact him?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
2257 posts
Buzzing bee

He’s really not so busy he can’t pick up his cell and shoot you a text Monday or Tuesday night. He’s literally putting in zero effort because he knows you’ll do it. You’ll initiate contact. So why should he have to try?

My theory is, relationships shouldn’t come this hard. There may be some nerves to deal with when you call or text him for the first few times, but there should be no games, no “is he going to call?”

Because I know the guys who’ve been interested, truly, have always made the effort to contact me regardless of how busy they are. They were the relationships that I ended on my terms, not the other way around.

The guys who’ve been so-so about me have strung me along, insisted that not texting me for two weeks was because sometimes they just need to be alone. After I put a stop to the last relationship where a man did that to me, I ended up meeting and dating guys who were serious about me. A year later I met my fiance. It was the easiest relationship I ever got into. And that’s how it should be.

Post # 47
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

Hate to say this, but you’re a booty call. Unless you want to be the initiator forever, I say move on and be open to meeting new people. If he does pick up the phone and ask you out, then you’ll have options.

Post # 48
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

nyyysf2014:  I’ve been where you are, it sucks and I’m sorry.  But it sounds like he’s not interested in making your relationship any more than what it is.  Maybe it’s a Southern thing, but my dad always told me that girls don’t chase boys.  Don’t waste time on a guy who’s not going to be a gentleman.  It sounds like you have a lot to offer.  Hold out for a guy who’s going to see you as more than a booty call and pursue you like you deserve! 

Post # 49
Member
3043 posts
Sugar bee

nyyysf2014:  not digging that response.

i used to HATE when guys would be like “oh sorry i havent talked to you, i have been so busy” mmmm nope. It takes less than 10 seconds to send a text. You can even do it while you are going to the bathroom lol. 1 day, ok. Maybe 2. Were going on 3 days not talking – sorry dude. 

If he was really thinking about me as much as he claims to be, i would have heard from him. I would let it go at that response. If he texts you later, feel free to text back but understand what you are getting yourself into and what this will be. That said, go and date other people. Meet someone who does want to be more with you.

Post # 50
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Look, I’m sorry, hon. You already said that you made it clear to him several times that you’re interested in him, for real, for a relationship and he’s not making it clear with his actions that he’s as interested in one with you. So I would say let it go and find another guy who also wants to be in a relationship with you (not just sleep with you because yeah, I’m sure lots of guys can be enthusiastic about sex whether they’re super into the girl or not) and who will make an effort to show you that.

I don’t put too much stock in the idea that women should never contact men, etc, but I think things should be fairly equal and he’s not giving you that. You’re doing all the initiating and he’s giving you crumbs. That’s not fair to you.

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