(Closed) Weird to ask people to stand during the ceremony? Opinions?

posted 12 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Would it be rude/weird/bad to have guests stand during the ceremony?



    Other - please explain below

  • Post # 3
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    I have a similar situation, and Ive been racking my brain as to whether its fair on the guests. Weve got 50 seats (with 150 guests) at least, and theres no way of renting others, as thats all thats permitted on the small lot outside the ocean. The rest will all be gathered around standing. Ive been rationalizing that it will just be a short ceremony so they shouldnt be standing for long….But I still don`t know how the logistics of it all will work. How many guests will need to be standing for your ceremonyÉ

    Are you going to make them aware before the ceremony, or let them find out when they get there, or could you maybe do benches…typically you can seat more ppl on a bench than on chairs.

    Good Luck!

    Post # 4
    6610 posts
    Bee Keeper

    It wouldn’t be the end of the world, but I think it may detract from your ceremony in that guests may be distracted by how long they’ve been standing rather than focusing on your ceremony. I don’t think standing for 30 minutes is a burden, but at the same time, if women are in heels, etc, they might be displeased.

    That said, if you do end up really needing your guests to stand, I’d try to keep the ceremony closer to 20 minutes than 30.

    Post # 5
    4437 posts
    Honey bee

    I, honesltly, would grumble about having to stand. It wouldn’t bother me if it was only 15-20 minutes though. I would just make sure that your ceremony is short enough for the comfort of your guests.

    Post # 6
    1646 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    since you’ll have chairs for people who need them (ie elderly), that takes away the biggest issue for making people stand. otherwise, i think it depends on the formality a bit. i’d probably be annoyed if it was super formal and i was wearing uncomfortable heels. but if you can let people know beforehand, via your website, and it’s not super formal, i think it’d be okay? but standing might be what people remember about your wedding, rather than any of the details.

    Post # 7
    275 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I probably wouldn’t be trilled if I had to stand during an entire ceremony.  I think 20-30 minutes is kind of a long time to stand completely still.  People will start to get fidgety, I would think.  Maybe you guys could help offset the $600 and chip in for part of it…that way your parents would feel better about it?  I also think it would be harder to some people to see if they are all standing up together.  

    Post # 9
    2297 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    The problem is that your guests would be standing for a lot more than the length of the ceremony.  People tend to allow extra time to get to a wedding, since they don’t want to be late, and thus often end up 15 minutes or so early.  So for a half hour ceremony, they could be on their feet for 45 minutes.

    Also, the first people to arrive often take all the seats–and don’t necessarily give them up when elderly or disabled guests arrive.  So the guests who really need seats may not have them.

    Post # 10
    425 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I would be bummed if I had to stand for 20-30 minute ceremony plus the time waiting before ceremony, especially if I was wearing heels.  How many guest will you have?  Do you have to rent the chairs through the venue?  Most rental companies in our area rent white folding chairs for around $2 and some even rent white plastic bistro chairs for less.

    Post # 11
    1495 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    Is it at all possible for you to rent chairs from another company/place?  It might not look as nice because they wouldn’t match the ones from your venue, but you could just not use those and only use your rentals.

    Personally, I’ve never liked the idea of weddings without chairs.  I think people might start thinking “ok, when will it be over already” instead of being able to focus on the ceremony…. just me, though.  If you decide to go without, the people who are closest to you won’t care anyway! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 12
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think it’s kind of bad to ask people to stand because beyond just having seating for elderly guests what about guest with health problems? Or guests with babies?

    It seems kind of difficult to say who can and cannot have a seat. Plus traditionally wouldn’t you want your family in the front? If your family is capable of standing then you’ll have to put them behind all the seated guests.

    I also be concerned about people being able to see. If everyone is standing it makes it difficult for shorter people to see and hear – plus if you have any children as guest they could miss out.

    If you DO have to have them stand I’d suggest having you and your Fiance elevated on a platform so then everyone would at least be able to see.



    Post # 13
    180 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    please don’t ask people to stand. it will detract from your ceremony because they’ll be thinking about how long they’ve been standing, how much their feet hurt, and how annoying it is that you are making them stand. for me, i would go with the cheaper venue that can accomodate everyone rather than the more expensive one where people have to stand.

    i was just watching 4 weddings and one wedding everyone stayed standing and therefore no one could see the ceremony at all, which defeats the entire purpose of being there.

    Post # 14
    807 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I would try tp provide seating if at all possible.  Whenever I’m at some event where everyone is standing, I can never see, and I know that would bother me at a wedding.  Plus, what if all the early guests take up the chairs, and then someone who needs one (like an older person) comes later- do they have to ask someone to get up?  It will just be awkward and I would try to cut the budget elsewhere first if at all possible.

    Post # 15
    3928 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I do not think it is rude, but I would also never dream of making my guests stand. At what age are you determining the guests qualify for the “elderly” seat. I do not consider myself to me elderly, but I would not feel comfortable standing in heels. Your guests will probably arrive a little early, the ceremony might start a little late, and then if you are having a receiving line, that means more being on their feet. I am also short, and if I was a guest at your wedding and had to stand, I would probably not get to see the ceremony because everyone in front of me would be taller than me. I would guesstimate at least an hour of standing, if not more. I think that if your parents don’t want to pay for the extra seats, that you and your Fiance should pay for them.

    Post # 16
    292 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Can you shorten the ceremony? Ours will be about 10 minutes and we will ask people to stand. Except for grandmas–we are bringing chairs for them. I’ve been to a standing wedding before, and for 10 minutes it wasn’t bad at all.

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