Post # 1
I was just reading through some of the old Wedding Gaffe threads and realized that there isn’t one for baby showers!
Recently, I was invited to a baby shower by one of my friends, and it totally made me do a double-take.
1. It was for her brother & his wife’s baby.
2. I have met his wife exactly once and him a total of 2 times.
3. The other time I met her brother was at my friend’s wedding & I ended up making out with him. This was long before he met his wife.
So there’s really no reason why I should have been invited, and I didn’t want to go into details with her, so I simply RSVPed “no” and it wasn’t a big deal. It was just really awkward! I’m not friends with her brother and his wife, and don’t really intend to be, so why would I be invited to the baby shower?
Anyways, what was the weirdest/most awkward thing you’ve encountered with baby showers? (other than the dreaded shower for non-first baby)
Post # 2
I too was invited to a baby shower for someone I barely knew. Of course, now I’m her sister-in-law, so the awkwardness is forgotten. I think that’s the only baby shower I’ve been invited to. My best friend is having a baby early next year (her second) and I was thinking of throwing a shower for her. Is it really a huge gaffe to throw a shower for baby #2? She had her son 7 years ago, has moved countries several times, changed partners and is basically starting over with her wedding a few weeks after the baby is due. I didn’t even think that a shower would be inappropriate. I am curious what others post though, so sort of also commenting to follow. 🙂
Post # 3
debinoxford: I honestly think there are reasons for multiple baby showers in a family, but there are endless threads about “Oh my!” So-and-so having a baby shower for baby #2, etc. I just figured there are enough threads to bitch about it, and I’d prefer this not to be one of them.
Post # 4
nadnuk: Yeah, i get it. I’m curious what other gaffes people come across with baby showers, not what people think about showers for baby #2 really. I did hear where a shower game was the “dirty” diapers with chocolate bars. I think I would barf if that came up at a shower I was at. Ugh.
Post # 5
I somehow got invited to my etiquette-challenged stepcousin’s baby shower via my mother via a forwarded Facebook message (this cousin is friends with me on Facebook, and could have easily gotten my phone number or address), to a shower that was in the middle of the day on a week day during the school year (I am still in college, and it’s not a secret)….the next week. The invitation was mostly a registry reminder, but no one could find the registry (I found out later) because they had put it under their nicknames, and it also only had about 5 items, mostly the same thing (onsies). I wasn’t able to attend as I didn’t want to skip class for a cousin I rarely if ever see, and she actually messaged me to tell me she was sad I couldn’t show up for a family event and that everyone was asking where I was. Hokay then. I asked my mom later, and she said that my aunt (her sister) asked if I couldn’t get out of class, and that was the end of anyone wondering where I was. <br /><br />At my FSIL’s shower, which was quite enjoyable, my FMIL asked me when my FI and I were going to have a baby. FSIL is mid twenties, finished education, all that jazz….FI and I are early twenties and still working on a few degrees, don’t have a house, etc. Let’s focus on the existing grandbaby first, lol! I just laughed it off, but FSIL was mortified for me.
Post # 6
I went to a baby shower that had alcoholic punch at it, which okay whatever. However, it took a very strange turn when multiple guests started waving their punch cups in front of the mama-to-be and “teasing” her about not being able to have it. Like really? Struck me as odd because it kept happening and the mama seemed uncomfy.
The other oddity that stuck out in my mind was at a baby shower when we were asked to basically make thank you card mad libs. So not only did we write our addresses on the envelope (which I think is a great time saver), but we were given the cards and asked to write our own semi-personal note. “Dear Pollen, Thank you so much for (leave a blank space). I love it so much, and it will surely come in handy for (blank space). Love, mama-to-be.” This one really rubbed me the wrong way and I was thinking what’s the point of even sending a thank you card at that point? Then again, maybe it’s just me because I really love giving/receiving a heartfelt thank you note!!
Post # 7
PolleninLove: That’s horrible, getting people to write their own thank you notes. What on earth were they thinking!?
Post # 8
I once went to a baby shower where one of the guests brought their toddler, which I guess is okay as long as the host/guest of honor isn’t upset by it, but what blew me away is they let their toddler play with the toys/gifts that had just been opened!
I get the kid doesn’t know the difference but wtf mom, those aren’t your things to allow the kid to play with
Post # 9
debinoxford: Multiple baby showers aren’t odd or a faux pas where i’m from either! I’d never thought anything of it, it wasn’t until I came on here that I realised some people don’t like it! With that said though I do think that if you’ve had multiple babies (particularly of the same sex) close together, you should forego the gift part and just celebrate your pregnancy/pending birth with your friends over some nibbles and maybe a game or too for fun! Asking for gifts at each one when you’re guests have already given presents at the others (and the birth, birthdays etc) is a bit gift grabby in my opinion.. but to each their own!
Post # 10
My brother and SIL set up a GoFundMe for a ‘virtual baby shower’ for their second baby… who was the same sex as their first baby, who happened to be under two years old. I think that there were several etiquette faux pas here:
Showers for second kids- this CAN be perfectly fine if the child is a different sex, if there is significant time gap between children, or if the child is expected to have different/special needs. But two little girls in less than two years? Also, in my social circle, showers are for the mother, to shower her with gifts in preparation for her new role as a mom (showers aren’t for the baby, but there’s no law saying you can’t send a nice gift for new baby!)
Hosting your own shower- it is generally in poor taste to host an event in honor of yourself. I find it particularly off-putting to host your own event when you’re not actually hosting anything.
Cash grab- Yeahhhh, it might be a little different if there were an actual registry involved, nevermind the other gaffes, but to set up a cash donation page is just not strange in this situation.
Post # 11
My parent’s next-door neighbors have a really really big family. The mother had 6 children of her own and then adopted 2 more after that. Their house is understandably huge and loaded with toys and other baby/kid items. And yet, they have held a shower for Every. Single. Child. And they have always been very large events involving the entire neighborhood. My mom and I stopped going after the third invite and have just sent cards since then.
Post # 12
One of the women who attended my sister’s baby shower refused to participate in games. She had a condescending attitude about the whole thing. I was angry for my mom’s sake because she put a lot of work and thought into it and tried her hardest to make sure everyone had a good time. Miss Prissy Pants was too good for our cheesy shower games.
Post # 13
I went to a shower of a college friend.
As for background the friend got engaged to a much older man with kids from a previous marriage. She was waffling if they should even get married because the relationship was rocky and she ended up secretly cheating on him. She asked new guy to propose and basically they’d still plan the original wedding, but just exchange the grooms. New guy wasn’t cool with this and friend’s sister got engaged and didn’t want her to beat her down the aisle so she sucked it up, never told her fiance about her affair, got married and was now pregnant.
During the shower people were making comments like “They’ll be divorced within 2 years.” or “Poor kid has no idea about the mess they’re coming into” all within ear shot of friend’s DH’s 10 year old who wasn’t handling the marriage or baby well. So in the middle of opening gifts the girl bolts out of the shower sobbing and making a scene. So his family and friend run after her.
It was just all kinds of awkward. I will say that the friend is still married.
Post # 14
PolleninLove: Is that weird? There is usually alcohol at the baby showers around here- granted nobody is doing shots or getting drunk but there are usually mimosas or something, and wine
The teasing the Mom is immature, and the write your own thank you cards? So rude!!!!
Post # 15
tiki429: I’m not even sure I followed all of that. Friend gets engaged to guy A, cheats on him with guy B, wants to marry guy B using the wedding planned for guy A, but guy B bails, so she still gets married to guy A, then has babies… Wow. Winning.