(Closed) Welcome BBQ Is my friend nuts?

posted 10 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I think that’s a great idea for a welcome dinner!

Why do we assume guests need lots of alcohol to have a good time and why is it acceptable to think people will be irresonsible by drinking without making plans for getting to and from the venue.

This is not an all night house party.  Lots of people attend office parties, BBQs, dinner parties, etc and have no problem driving to and from such events.  It sounds crazy, but guests can have fun eating, mingling without drinking alcohol…or limiting themselves to 1-2 drinks for the first half and not consuming alcohol thereafter.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

your friend is on crack. this sounds like a perfect idea! we had a ‘hang-over bbq’ the day after our wedding and everyone had to drive about 15min from the main wedding location and it was no problem. for friends that are going to drink heavily, they are adults and should plan on carpooling.

 everyone has their 2cents, especially friends, but they don’t see the big picture and the pocketbook. go with your gut!

 

Post # 5
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree – you are not crazy! I am sure plenty of people will want a few cocktails, some might even get a little tipsy, but I doubt the majority will be seeing this as a big free for all drink fest the day before the wedding. Those who want to drink should be expected to drink and drive responsibly, arrange for alternate transporation, carpool, etc. just as with any adult event anywhere in any context.

Sounds fun to me! Great idea!

Post # 6
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree that it is a very gracious thing for you to do and she is over stepping by saying that. They are capable of being responsible adults. Tell her that you will get the numbers of some cab companies together for people.

Post # 8
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I don’t know that she’s overstepping, it’s a point, but I don’t think you should have to worry.  It’s a great way to ensure that your guests aren’t so hung over they don’t make the wedding the next day!

Post # 9
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I dont think your friend is crazy but you are correct to assume it is reasonable to ask people to drive a few miles for the event–mind you they can opt out of going!  I do think her point about the alcohol and driving is worth hearing but in the end cant be solved so thank her and make a plan to decide who is driving etc.  I have to tell you it cracks me up that people immediately think they cant manage their own behaviour around alcohol so clearly the venue must change–its called responsibility and wedding or not–we all have to follow some basic rules about not mixing drinking and driving.  You are definitely not required to provide people with protected access to unlimited consumption of alcohol!  Maybe best you dont say anything but thanks, and lets be sure to be careful with regard to designated drivers, she obviously falls in the category of thinking this is your responsibility–a haven for drinking.  Also sorry your original place got greedy–I HATE THAT, and it happens all the time, once they have you they twist the knife and I am proud of you for not being held hostage!

Post # 10
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

it’s not like you want all your friends hungover at the wedding, anyway!  So, maybe it’s better to have an incentive to not drink!

Post # 11
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

I would want it off site just for variety given that you’re holding the wedding there already. people ought to be mature enough to manage their drinking if they know they’re going to drive, and if you know someone is not, watch them!

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