Post # 1
We are considering having both a welcome party for out-of-town guests on Thursday night and a more intimate rehearsal dinner at a restaurant for the immediate family and bridal party on Friday night before the Saturday wedding. I would rather just have one big rehearsal/welcome party the night before, but here are the reasons for two:
1) My fiance’s family is paying for the rehearsal dinner, and it is one of the few things they are contributing to. My fiance wants to provide a nice “thank you” to the folks in our wedding party– i.e. nicer than a casual welcome party. I don’t think it matters, but I’m wondering if I should let him have this for the sake of the relationship.
2) The welcome party will be tacos and beer at my parents’ house– very casual. The problem is that it will have to be on Thursday, and fewer people will have arrived. Another reason it’s on Thursday is because my mom doesn’t want to host the day before the wedding.
3) Some people will be invited to both the welcome party and rehearsal dinner. Overkill?
Have any of you pulled this off? Are we crazy?
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Post # 2
I think it’ll be hard having a welcome party Thurs when most of your oot guests won’t be there. I guess it depends on how many will be in town. Most of my guests are oot and only maybe my mom will be in town Thurs for our Sat wedding.
If it were me, I’d find a way to switch the days. Can you host the welcome party at a different location so your parents don’t have to entertain the day before the wedding? We are doing rehearsal Thurs with an intimate dinner at our apt after, and then a bigger welcome dinner for all the oot guests, wedding party members and close family Fri. I dont think it’s overkill to do both as long as the people invited to both don’t have to travel a lot.
Post # 4
We just expanded our rehearsal dinner to include Out of Town guests Friday night and it worked out just fine! Theres no need to host a welcome dinner if nobody is really there to welcome!
Post # 5
We are doing something similar. On friday we are having our rehearsal dinner with a small group, and then any guest is invited to welcome drinks and desserts following the rehearsal dinner. The actual rehearsal will be before the dinner itself, so we should be fine
Post # 6
I do think the ideal thing would be to combine the parties. Since your Future In-Laws are paying for Rehearsal Dinner, would it make them prickly if you offer to pay the difference for a bigger, combined party?
Post # 7
Another option would be to let your FIL’s host the rehearsal dinner they want, then invite the OOT’s to join you for either coffee and desert, or drinks and snacks, with your parents hosting the latter part of the evening.
Post # 8
I would have an early Rehearsal Dinner for whoever you’re planning on inviting (I know some people do family + Bridal Party only, but personally I think it’s nice to include all Out of Town guests) and welcome drinks afterwards instead of doing a separate welcome party the day before the Rehearsal Dinner.
Post # 9
We’re including our out of town guests in our rehearsal dinner the night before. Just seems much easier than planning 2 dinners.
Post # 10
We are having an early and small rehearsal dinner for parents and the wedding party, followed by desserts and cocktails for all guests (everyone is OOT). These are in the same location, and the dinenr should be over with time to spare for any guests who show up early. Plus, who doesn’t like more desserts? These are both hosted by FI’s parents (he has 2 sets), and are very low key.
Post # 11
Are you expecting many of your guests to arrive on Thursday for a Saturday wedding? My Out of Town guests mostly all arrived on the Friday before. We met up with Out of Town guests after the rehearsal dinner was over.
Post # 12
Thanks to everyone for your input!! A sizable chunk of my wedding guests will be from France, and they will be arriving on Thursday. The American Out of Town guests will probably come on Friday.
Unfortunately, my fiance is very stubborn about keeping the intimate, 20-person rehearsal dinner at a nice restaurant he’s planned on behalf of his side of the family. Otherwise, I would have preferred a less expensive, more inclusive get-together on Friday. We’ll see how this pans out!
Post # 13
Note: the rehearsal dinner is capped at 20 people because that is the maximum size for a reservation.
Post # 14
Do the rehearsal as planned in Friday night, and just have the welcome party immediately following.
Post # 15
I would love to come to another party on thursday… if I were already planning to come into town thursday. If you are “welcoming” them, it sounds like they traveled, but I think on a thursday you’re more likely to get people who live nearby and more Out of Town will arrive Friday…. How about a drinks and party Friday after the RD? I did a smallish Rehearsal Dinner for just bridal party, close family, and a few very long disane travelers and then did a “drinks” thing later that night so that anyone who was in town could hang out with us. It was just at the bar of our hotel (where the OOTs were all staying within 3 miles) so we weren’t hosting the alchohol, but if I had a home nearby that woud’ve been cool to host. Otherwise, the traditional Sunday brunch seems like a better bet in terms of turn out than a Thurs night…