(Closed) Well, according to a now EX bridesmaid I am a bridezilla!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

not bridezilla


Post # 4
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

Good luck. I hope it all turns out ok

Post # 5
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s $45, not a fancy updo at an upscale salon.  You told all your girls in plenty of time and it’s not like you just gave up paying for just that girl’s hair.  She sounds like she wasn’t there for you anyway which sucks.  I have short hair (chin length) and the bride for the wedding I’m in next weekend is requiring us to curl our hair, because it’s a “wedding” style I’m paying $50+tip.  Am I unhappy about wasting $50 for short hair? Yup, but as friend and bridesmaid I knew that going in.  Sorry you’re having such a crappy day! Enjoy a few more beers, you deserve it:)

Post # 7
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

When it comes to dictating appearances for a wedding, I can see why she and others get a bit upset. Appearance is a very personal thing for a person. I know that in light of everything else that you have been generously acommodating about, it seems like a little thing for her to get upset about, but since she is putting time/and or money into doing her hair for your wedding, then she may feel that she shoud have the ultimate decision over how her hair is styled.


If she cancelled just because she didn’t want to spend time with you, then there are obviously more problems in your friendship then those related to the wedding.


I am sorry that you are experiencing so much stress. I hope that things get better for you, and that you have a wondertful wedding.




Post # 8
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

She sounds like the one who has the problem to me….More like a Bridesmaidzilla….

Post # 10
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@jesssamesssa:  So you lost a friend over a hairstyle and a party… m’kay, if you feel it’s worth it.

This is why I don’t like to get involved in weddings. Glad your dog is OK!

Post # 11
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@jesssamesssa:  Okay. I am prone to give the benefit of the doubt and to try to be understanding. Your update helps me understand your point of view more. She is very much in the wrong with that attitude! I am gladf that you no longer have to deal with it. Have a wonderful wedding!

Post # 13
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

There are a couple of things I find wrong with your post. 

I get that you don’t make a lot of money, but we don’t know what her finances are like and maybe $45 for a one day hair do is too much. I tend to think that if you’re dictating a certain hairstyle, then you should be responsible for the cost of ensuring it’s done to your liking.

Also, unless she’s 9, she has experience doing her hair. I’m guessing her mommy isn’t coming over every day to do her hair on her way to work or school or whatever. Just about anyone can master an updo thanks to Youtube.

Personally, I’m with one of the other PPs who said you basically threw away a friendship over a hairstyle and a party. If it was that easy, she really wasn’t a friend to begin with. I couldn’t fathom doing that to someone I call my friend.

You had a moment, a bad one at that. Someone who cancels their attendance at your bridal shower at the last minute is rude, but that has nothing to do with whether or not she’ll be at your wedding. You kicked her out of the wedding, I hope you at least have the class to reimburse her for the dress she had to buy for your event that she’s probably not going to if she can’t get a refund.

Post # 14
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@DJones69:  I tried for 40 minutes to follow an “easy 5 minute updo” tutorial on youtube before giving up, I am useless at hair 😉

OP sorry you ended up in this crappy situation.  Seems like more must have been going on that we don’t know about.  She overreacted to the news of needing to pay for hair but I think kicking her out was an overreaction too.  Hope things work out for the two of you if you wish to salvage this friendship, kicking someone out of a wedding party is often a friendship ending move.

Post # 16
2283 posts
Buzzing bee

What I’m wondering is when so many people forgot that bridesmaids tend look the way the brides want them to look unless specified otherwise. What did I miss? When did this common bit of information about weddings change? Why are so many women shocked and kicking up a fuss when a bride wants an updo? It’s ridiculous. If your personal appearance is so important to you that you don’t want to change it for one day, don’t be in a wedding. I just don’t understand their thinking sometimes. 

Good riddance, I say. This should make the wedding and the days leading up to it much easier for you and your bridesmaids. 

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