(Closed) well I guess this is as good a board as any! :) FINALLY getting married… :)

posted 9 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 3
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Yaaaaay! Congrats!!

And yes, I feel the same way. I did have long relationships in my 20’s, but they were all very crappy, unfulfilling and I knew I would never marry those guys. So yeah, I didn’t think I’d every find anyone that I would love enough to want to spend the rest of my life with. We met when I was 30, and married when I was 32.

I guess 30 is our lucky number! πŸ˜€

Post # 4
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh, there were quite a few days when I wondered if I was ever going to get married.  It got to the point when someone asked me what I was looking for in a guy my only response was “he breathes.”  A couple of years ago I resolved that there was a good possibility I would just not ever get married and I found myself at peace with that decision.  Two months later I met my Fiance. 

Would I rather have found someone in my 20’s?  I don’t really think so.  I spent the first 5 years finishing my education, and with so much time devoted to studying, it didn’t leave a lot of time to figure out what I wanted.  After that, I got a job, traveled, bought a house, stayed out late, slept even later, spent money on what I wanted and got to do what I wanted.  Meanwhile all of my friends who got married in their 20’s were having kids and staying home.  Did this make me sad?  Sometimes.  Somedays I was really sad, but in reflection, I had way more fun and happy days than sad days.  I can’t tell you how often people told me they wished they could be in my shoes.  Never once would I have traded places with them.  Secretly, I kind of miss the go where I want when I want and I’ll spend what I want days.  But it sure is nice to have someone to come home to as well!

Post # 5
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay

congratulations! i think that’s really beautiful that he made such a difference in your life (which i’m sure you have done for him as well).

Post # 6
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Congrats!

Post # 8
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I’m the same way, although I turn 29 in 2010. In my 20’s before 25 having fun and not looking to settle down(finishing undergrad), but after 27 is when I started seriously looking.LOL I looked but I wasn’t sucessful. I prayed about it and in 10 months, he came!LOL That was the fast! With him, I’m able to let myself go. Before him, my longest relationship was a few months also. Now I can actually share myself with someone.

I guess I can’t put it in words, but I totally understand where you are coming from.

Post # 10
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

I just got married at 38…..waited for the perfect time and person. My 20’s were tumultuous.

 

Congratulations!

Post # 11
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Congratulations!  Such a sweet love story…

I didn’t date my partner until I was 34.  I had pretty much resigned myself to preferring singlehood over bad relationships.  As soon as I made that commitment to myself, BAM!  There he was!

My 20’s were a long process of career development and personal development that didn’t really come to fruition until my early 30s… So I don’t regret any of the delays for a second.  They definitely made me who I am today!

We, like you, decided on a long engagement… after all, this is a marathon, not a sprint.  So like cranky, I was 38 when I finally got hitched to the man of my dreams!

Post # 12
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

This is such a sweet post πŸ™‚ Yes, I felt the same as you that I would never meet the one, and I was destined to grow old never having been married because no one wanted me blah blah blah… Seriously, it was quite depressing because of course when you’re younger you think “I will probably be married by the time I’m 22 or 23..” and when that rolled around & it hadn’t happened yet, I was seriously starting to think & feel like there was something defective about me that no one wanted πŸ™

I thank God every day for my wonderful husband. We got married earlier this month, and I will turn 30 in June. Happily ever after was a little later, but right on time πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I will be a few months away from 30 when we get married (he will be 37).  However, in Korea, age is calculated differently…so I’m actually considered 31 here!

When I was 16 I had these visions of being married by 21.  Then most of my friends met their now husbands in 1st year university.  It was hard going through my early 20s having a string of very very short relationships (longest 2 months), and most of them bad when my friends all seemed to effortlessly find their ‘one’.  My firends were all married by the end of university/grad school, and I still felt like I was still 16 having never really been a ‘girlfriend.’  Fiance had given up altogether on marriage and children before he met me.  Most of his friends had semi-arranged or ‘well it’s marrying time…and you fit my parent’s criteria for me…so let’s get married! kind of relationships.  So he was anti anti anti marriage if this is what it meant.

It took a long time for us to get past our past baggage and feelings about long term relationships…but we both feel like we saved each other.  And most of all, I know I wouldn’t have felt this grateful had I met Fiance when I was younger.  We’ve both had the looooooooooooong single stretch and the bad relationships….and so finding each other was this incredible revelation of what companionship really means.  I never would have understood that had I found him earlier in my life. 

Post # 14
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I completely agree with all of you!  I was 29 when I started dating my Fiance and I will be 31 when we get married on November 6, 2010.  I spent my 20s going from one failed relationship to the next, never feeling like I was ever going to get married.  I used to tell people that I didn’t want to get married or have kids but I was only saying that because I didn’t feel like it would ever happen.  If I was going to be the “crazy cat lady” who stays single her whole life, at least I was going to have fun doing it!  I didn’t meet my Fiance until I decided that I was fed up with living in Kansas City and decided to move to St. Louis to be closer to my nephew, my brother, and my sister-in-law.  I had lived in St. Louis for less than 5 months when I met my Fiance.  The minute I saw him I knew I was going to marry him!  He is absolutely 100% my soulmate and I can’t imagine I ever lived life without him.  I always joke with people that I had to move 250 miles away from home to find the man of my dreams!  We got engaged on Nov. 14, 2009 and within three weeks, 2 other friends of ours got engaged too!  30 is the new 20 ladies! I wouldn’t have had the same relationship with my Fiance in my 20s than I do in my 30s so I’m thankful it took me until the end of my 20s to find him!  Congrats to all of you!

Post # 16
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee

It’s so great to hear everyone’s stories. πŸ™‚  Ours is kinda funny–kind of a real life “When Harry Met Sally” kind of story.  We met when I was 18 and he was 20 at my freshman orientation to college.  We were friends (and housemates) for the next several years and all the time we were dating other people.  I knew he was fantastic, but I never really considered the possibility of us dating.  It wasn’t until we had known each other for 9 years when he finally told me that he had feelings for me.  I realized that I had really been feeling the same way for a long time.  I think when we were younger, neither of us was really ready for the seriousness/commitment that would have come from moving our friendship to the next level.  I knew that once we got together, it was the real thing.  I think we are a better couple because we spent our 20’s figuring out who we were and what we wanted out of our lives individually (as friends)–before we realized that what we wanted was right here the whole time. πŸ˜‰  We were 31 and 33 at our wedding, which came almost about 13 years after we met!

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