(Closed) Well SIL screwed us out of buying a house

posted 5 months ago in Legal
Post # 16
Member
1694 posts
Bumble bee

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@krm1984:  Agreed – If everyone had been reasonable they could agree on a market value and split the surplus that they would save on a realtor, inspector, etc. Either way, SIL should not be party to the discussion. In this case, if Mother-In-Law is interested in selling OP should suggest Mother-In-Law put her house on the market. Now is still a good time to search for a different house.

Post # 18
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Malibou Lake Mountain Club

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@ladyvk:  nope. 

Post # 19
Member
2423 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is way confusing. If your Mother-In-Law needs another $15K to pay off her LOC, why doesn’t she just sell her house for $15K higher? It sounds like you’re already getting a nearly 50% discount and you’re willing to pay more.

 

ETA: the SIL staying over 4 nights a week is a different issue- will your Mother-In-Law just not sell the house if the new owners (be it you or another relative) won’t promise to let SIL stay there?

Post # 20
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1819 posts
Buzzing bee

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@ladyvk:  It sounds like everyone in this family is way too financially entangled.  Each family should be maintaining their own households separately; too much money is being intermingled with people staying with other people, cash being exchanged for “favors” and “helping each other out” when it’s just a recipe for disaster.  

Build and maintain your household separately with your husband and let them fight out the rest, it’s just not worth it.

Post # 21
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would leave the entire decision up to your Mother-In-Law. Up to her whether she wants to sell to you guys or sell the traditional way or whatever. Sounds like she’d get more money on the market but would have to go through the uncertainty of trying to sell. Also if she can’t afford the house, maybe your SIL should be paying rent to help her with the mortgage. 

At the end of the day, it’s up to your Mother-In-Law. Decide what you guys are willing to do whether it’s to stick to your original plan and not let SIL live with you. Or partially give in to SIL’s demands or all of it or whatever. Ultimately, Mother-In-Law needs to decide. 

Post # 22
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2021

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@ladyvk:  

What do you mean by a 150k difference? Is the house worth 300k but being sold to you for 165K, plus the downpayment is being covered by FIL? Do Mother-In-Law and SIL knwo that Father-In-Law plans to move in after the sale? 

Post # 23
Member
7571 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If my Mother-In-Law were having money problems and was thinking of selling her house, I’d want her to sell it at full market value tbh. 

Post # 25
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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@ladyvk:  Yeah. Just don’t give into anything you aren’t comfortable with. Like letting SIL live with you 4 days out of the week if you don’t want that. 

Post # 27
Member
1819 posts
Buzzing bee

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@ladyvk:  Not my circus, not my monkeys.

My mom and I say this all the time and I swear by it.  If it feels off to you, stand your ground in not wanting to participate.  In my experience, mixing family with business dealings never ends well, and this whole deal was messy from the jump.  Sounds like you’re on the right track.

Post # 28
Member
2423 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

 

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@ladyvk:  The only reason this even came up was because Mother-In-Law approached us and DH wanted to help out his family etc.

 

That is so strange though- sounds like she is sitting on a lot of equity. Unless for some reason she thinks she could not sell her house on the open market, she stands to get a lot of cash from an arms length transaction. I mean, if she wants to essentially gift you part of the house that’s great, but I don’t see how this is her needing help?

Post # 30
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

“just as an fyi: his dad helping us out is in return for him living with us as he’d like to be close to our daughter.”

Your daughter will grow up and be gone and you will be left providing full-time care for your then-aged father-in-law. This sounds like a seriously bad idea.

Stay in your apartment. It works for you, and you don’t need to pull your life and finances apart to help his family. His mother can sell her house and pay her debts. His sister-in-law can do whatever highly entitled people do, but not at your expense.

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