(Closed) Well SIL screwed us out of buying a house

• Horseradish
• 5 months ago

• Wedding: October 2014

Honestly it sounds like all of you (including FIL) are way too involved in each other’s living arrangements and finances. It’s not healthy. 

• MiniMeow
• 5 months ago

• Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I would back all the way out from this. This sounds like an absolute nightmare that will do nothing but poison relationships across the board. Let Mother-In-Law sort out her own financial problems and let SIL sort out her own commuting problems. If you want a home you can likely find one for a lot less headache than that’s being offered from family.

• cmsgirl
• 5 months ago

• Wedding: November 1999

@ladyvk:  so if the market is crazy at the moment in your area and your Mother-In-Law has money problems, why would you guys agree to her selling her house to you for less than she paid for it x amount of years ago especially now in a good realestate market? I get that she wants to help you out but it doesn’t really sound like she can afford to be generous at this point. She also has multiple children and i think its generally right to be as equitable as possible with all. It sounds like a very one sided deal that your husband benefits from but your SIL isnt as fortunate. Your SIL likely sees this deal as unfair for herself and illogical for your Mother-In-Law by way of her financial future. You did say your Mother-In-Law has been not great with her financial decisions in the past and this offer to you guys seems like another one of those decisions. Let her sell her house to strangers for as much as she can get as she needs the money.

As fir your SIL, I wouldn’t get too shitty at her. Everybody involved in this messy situation really hasn’t thought about what is right or best for everyone involved….

• wonderwedding
• 5 months ago

It sounds like you all are fighting over who gets to benefit from Mother-In-Law financially the most. If you don’t want to deal with constant drama, walk away from the whole deal.

• anonymousbee001
• 5 months ago

 

@cmsgirl:  Agreed. However, there might be a concern that OP and her husband walks away from the deal, Mother-In-Law sells to the SIL at a significantly discounted price, and then OP and her husband are left financially supporting the Mother-In-Law later.

• beethree
• 5 months ago

Fuck no to her living with you four days a week telling you how to run your own home.

This is a disaster with the potential to become a nightmare. Walking away is the right answer.

• dublingirl
• 5 months ago

Sounds like your Mother-In-Law was trying to do something supportive for you and DH but didn’t think through the full plan and how to make it workable for you and her, perhaps due to her mental state. I don’t really see what it has to do with your SIL if your Mother-In-Law needs the extra money and you are willing & able to give it to her, then the solution is straight forward. But that’s a conversation for you & DH to have directly with Mother-In-Law. 

As for SIL I’d nip the option of her staying in your house with a hard no, in fairness if you guys don’t buy it and an outsider does she can’t expect to stay with them. 

It does however sound like it’s turning into a huge family drama and if it’s not something you really want and / or are really excited about, walking away is probably the best solution all round. 

• cmsgirl
• 5 months ago

• Wedding: November 1999

@anonymousbee001:  true but honestly both siblings should do the right thing and agree to look out for their mothers best interest. 

Sorry OP mised your update but buying a house at 50% below value from someone who is financially in a messy situation isn’t really helping them…

Edit: not a usa bee but don’t banks do a valuation on the house when you apply for a mortgage through them to make sure the numbers are right. Would they still give you a loan when sales price, valuation and transaction price don’t match? Are there no checks and balances to make sure oeople aeeent doing dodgy stuff to avoid taxes etc?? 

• krm1984
• 5 months ago

@cmsgirl:  I believe MIL’s reasoning for doing this was because she doubted she could continue to handle the mortgage on her own until she was able to sell the house outright.  Short-sighted, of course, but I get the vibe from OP that she wants to unload it ASAP due to cash constraints.