(Closed) Well SIL screwed us out of buying a house

posted 3 months ago in Legal
Post # 77
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

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@ladyvk:  well if that’s the case, then she just sounds like a manipulative psycho who should mind her own business and let ya’ll go about your lives and this sale without interfering (highly doubt she will do that though lol)

Post # 79
Member
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@ladyvk:  I’m still confused about a couple things.

  1. We were pretty much on the cusp of making it work” — What does this mean, what challenges need to be overcome in order for you to be able to take mil up on her offer?
  2. I was hurt the first day you guys ambushed me with this” — Who told her about this possibility, how was she told, and why was she told?
  3. When he couldn’t get a mortgage we offered him this as an alternative.” — Where is he living now? Why does he need a new house? Is your offer only valid if you buy mil’s house, or did you offer to let him live in any house that he pays the down payment on? Why can’t he get a mortgage when he apparently has a bunch of cash sitting around (enough to pay for down payment + extra $15K + basement reno)
  4. 100% this burden [taking care of mil in the future] will not be falling on us no way no how. He has two financially indepdendent siblings with houses. They will absolutely be doing that.” — If the house is to be sold at a discount to one of her children, doesn’t it seem fair for it to be one of the 2 who will be taking care of her in the future? 
  5. Is mil sure the program does not require an arms-length sale to avoid this type of asset transfer that goes counter to the program’s purpose?
Post # 81
Member
15196 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

 

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@ladyvk:  I already said we were willing to offer her more just not under the table 

Confused about this point.  If she’s willing to help you out by selling you her house for like 100k less than what she can get for it rather than paying a huge chunk in taxes, and you’re willing to give her more… why not give it to her under the table.  Why put it in to the house cost just to have her fork it over to the govt.  Wouldn’t you want your money, all of it, to go to her, rather than the govt?

Post # 83
Member
15196 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think that’s the point of under the table.  How is she gonna sue you for money when there’s so said contract for money.  That’d be like me coming after you with “well, you said you’d give me money” and I’ll just sue you for it.  

If you really want a record, you can make something up and have it signed and notarized by the two of you stating moneys was given.  You can take it out of your account, follow her to the bank and deposit it and ask for proof of deposit.   That should leave suffient paper trail as proof if she came after more money on a simple verbal contract.

Post # 84
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

What? If you want to buy the house do it through the proper channels leaving SIL and Father-In-Law out of it. You said your Mother-In-Law makes poor financial decisions, well selling your house half price to swindle the government is up there with the worst I’ve heard.

I feel so bad for your Mother-In-Law, it seems like she has no idea what she is doing and her family just wants to take advantage of her ignorance.

Post # 85
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

IDK this sounds like a complete mess with everyone taking advantage of everyone else. I would be pissed too if my mother sold my house to my brother for much less than it’s worth when I worked so hard to buy my house. 

But then her decision making has been terrible if she can’t afford to rent where she works. 

So I am going with everyone is being dumb in this situation. Everyone is the asshole.

Post # 90
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

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@ladyvk:  Even so, you still think it is okay your Mother-In-Law (Who has financial and mental health issues) gets less than what her house is worth? The amount of selfishness from your whole family seems crazy. Give me your house crazy cheap but I won’t even help you in old age.

It’s now like well SIL did something bad accepting money so now I’m going to do something bad and accept some money so we’re all equally bad. Wtf.

And what of this other brother? He just gives and never gets anything back? Why is everyone just giving each other all their money.

I really think you need to check yourself… you can’t afford a house and this seemed like an easy solution but it’s not.

Post # 91
Member
2002 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

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@milaknot:  I think the word is still out on the portion the government would take back so we can’t say op buying the home at a discounted rate is taking advantage. It might not be. But it sure is confusing! 

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