(Closed) Well SIL screwed us out of buying a house

posted 2 months ago in Legal
Post # 92
Member
668 posts
Busy bee

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@mrsssb:  Sounds pretty tenuous to me especially when she doesn’t want to help the Mother-In-Law at all – “4. What’s with the obsession that children need to take care of their parents? I would never expect my daughter to do this. ETA: I just don’t think we should be expected to take care of her regardless of the situation if we’re taking on one parent they can take the other .”

Everyone is about the money- noone cares how Mother-In-Law is going to get on once she sells this house!?

Post # 94
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

1) buying the house at a discounted rate opens you up to a LIFETIME of nasty guilt trippy comments and manipulation. 
– sil: well mom need some financial assistance, i mean you did pay her half of what her house is worth so you “owe her”.

– mil: well you should do x for me because I basically gave you a house. 

I could go on… you would be signing up to have strings attached to that house for FOREVER. And that’s only one side. If you also accept fil’s help you’ll also owe him forever. You want him to move out because living with him is awful– Fil: you can’t kick me out because I bought part of this house… 

2) SIl has no business being involved at all. If mil wants to sell her house, or give you a million bucks of her own money, it’s none of SIL’s business. Period. An appropriate reply to SIl email would be, “how mil sells her house and to whom and at what price is her choice and is none of your business. If mil and us come up with an agreement and a price on the home we will do so without your involvement whatsoever. If you need somewhere to stay for work that also isn’t mil’s or our concern. That is your business to manage and finance. We won’t be discussing this with you again, any attempts from you to be involved will be ignored. Mil is the only person we will be talking with about this and we will work with her directly and privately.” 

I don’t know why editing a post deletes it sometimes- sorry it glitches and is now out of order!

Post # 95
Member
668 posts
Busy bee

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@ladyvk:  No, I read it. Still think you’re acting entitled AF

Post # 97
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

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@milaknot:  I mean I agree with her, at least on the kids taking care of parents thing. Children don’t ask to be born, they arent a retirement plan and having them should be because you can afford them and your own retirement and finances or you don’t do it at all. 

mil wanting to help them get a house isn’t weird either. My parents helped us with our downpayment as an early inheritance to me. So it’s not inherently entitled to have parents help with a home. 

Post # 99
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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@milaknot:  Agreed!

Is it weird that I wish I could sit down with the Mother-In-Law and help her sort out her finances/create a budget? Fantasising about putting a plan in motion to first start SIL paying rent… foot-in-mouth Whoops yeah, financial planning is my thing.

Post # 100
Member
668 posts
Busy bee

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@ladyvk:  I am not talking about your Father-In-Law at all? I hadn’t even thought about this part of the situation.

No you’re entitled by your thinking you somehow deserve this house at a lower rate and are annoyed that someone ( who is equally as selfish) has stopped it.

Also, just because someone offers something doesnt make you exempt from taking advatange or means that you should accept. 

Don’t post your ‘rant’ on an online forum if you don’t want an honest repsonse. But I obviously struck a nerve so I will skidaddle 🙄 and hope someone in MIL’s life isn’t an asshole. 

Post # 101
Member
668 posts
Busy bee

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@mrsssb:  Except this seems to be coming from a situatuon where Mother-In-Law is losing her job and struggling financially not one where she is being generous and trying to help.

That’s the huge difference.

And I don’t “expect” children to help parents at all, but I equally don’t “expect” parents to help children buy homes. Kids aren’t your retirement plan and parents aren’t your house buying plan. 

Post # 104
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

I agree with a pp, can your Mother-In-Law even sell it to you at a lower than market price if it was purchased through a government scheme? There’s likely to be a clause in the contract saying you must sell it at market price (or a price determined by a surveyor) or the government has first refusal of the property. Best to check that out first before entertaining this any further.

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