(Closed) Well, that blew up in my face.

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m so sorry you’re going through this!  ((HUGS))  I don’t know what to say, but I am praying for you and your cousin.

Post # 4
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@SweetRose2011: awwwww ((((HUGS)))) 

If your sister is 18 or older, you’re no longer her “keeper”.  What she does, as an adult, is on HER shoulders.  

I know you’re heard the saying “you can lead a horse to water, but can’t make it drink”, right?  Well, that’s pretty much your sister.  Until SHE wants to change and get out of a bad, abusive situation, there’s nothing ANYONE can do.  It sucks, it hurts, but that’s how it is.  Unfortunately.

I’m sorry you’ve gotta deal with this and that you’re hurting so much because of her and this crappy behavior.  But at least you tried.  You can’t MAKE her talk to you or listen to advice.  What you can do is be there for her when she hits rock bottom (doesn’t sound like she has yet) and wants help.  

Not help to get back up and repeat what she did to GET to rock bottom, but actually to get up and CHANGE for the better.

good luck and lots of hugs!!!!!

eta: is it your sister or cousin?  sorry! confused on that part! 🙁

Post # 5
Member
2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I went through a very difficult situation with my sister, like you are having with your cousin.  It’s heartbreaking and so difficult to deal with.  Feel free to PM if you need to chat/vent.  I know how hard it is 🙁

Post # 6
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I know we all want what’s best for our family members, but you HAVE to let this go. You cannot make adults do what you want them to do. And consider this: she is still going on doing whatever she wants tonight while YOU are the one miserable. For your own sake, you have to just let her make her mistakes and accept that there’s nothing you can do but help her fix them when and if she ever comes to you for help. 

Post # 8
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wish I had any advice for you. And I agree with @ohheavenlyday:. You just gotta let it go.

I know I mentioned to you in another thread that I’m going through something similar with my brother? well, he hasn’t talked to me since the end of April. I’m letting it go. When he wants to talk, I’ll be there.

Post # 9
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

All you can do is give her your contact info for when and if she ever wants to come around.  Mail it to her and leave it be.  You know she’s just lashing out and you also know you’ve done all you can do.  Going over there is a lot more than most people would have cared to do.  

Post # 10
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

you have done all that you can. im so sorry that you are going through this.

Post # 12
Member
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@SweetRose2011:  What part of Illinois are you in?  I am in IL too.  By the way, I am a homeschool mom.  I am praying for you for sure.

Post # 13
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’re trying. When she’s ready to accept help/advice she will come back to you.

Post # 15
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

It’s hard, but I would let it go…at least for a while. If she wants to come around, she will. If not, it sucks really bad, but that’s the way she wants it to be.

Have you thought of writing her a letter or something? Maybe that will help you to get this off your chest and maybe she will take it seriously since it’s indirect? I don’t know…

If you’re a praying person, I would say do that. I’ve been in this situation before and the only thing that helped was distance and leaving the situation alone.

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