(Closed) Well things are changing again. .SO is joining the military.

posted 6 years ago in Military
Post # 16
Member
2092 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am prior military. I did not stay in “forever” and I never planned to stay in. I was single, so I only had to worry about myself. I managed not to get deployed; I was supposed to go to the desert, but my deployment was cancelled. I have both good and bad memories.

I missed my family terribly. It is funny because you become idealistic about your loved ones, like everything was so perfect before. Even though there are people are all around you, you are lonely and unsure that you can trust people. My work hours were so strange, I had a series of days off in between 12 hour shifts. I was exhausted and usually the first day off was spent sleeping. 

I made good money. I made more than I have as a civilian so far. I am pretty sure what I made will be peanuts compared to when I finish my bachelors. There are so many unknowns with the military. People leave for a year and reappear. While that happens, life goes on. That is part of what is difficult to adjust to. You leave come back and things have changed. You WILL be apart for long periods regardless of his specific job.

To be honest, it was a relief to get out. I like being able to call out sick. You cannot do that in the military. I can’t tell you how many times I had to go to work half-alive before I was allowed to go to the doctor. I like being off, really off. Leave does not mean that they cannot call you back in, and you MUST go in. You can get written up for anything, anything can be dirreliction (ugh spelling) of duty. There is a lot of pressure in these jobs. I had a job where someone VERY VVVIP in the US could see something I wrote! There is no privacy, NONE. Anything you do, the military will know about it. I felt like a puppet many times. 

Please, know that this is a REAL committment, almost like a marriage. He can’t quit whenever he wants. You also need to have many plans in place. You need a plan for what you will do when he is deployed or gone to training. You need to plan if, God forbid, something goes wrong. You need to budget money, you need to be able to look after yourself and not go crazy with lonliness. You need to plan for him not going in, going in and leaving early, and for what you both will do if he does decide to get out in 4 years. I know some people who LOVE it! I was not one of them, I liked some things, but not enough to stay in. Either way, good luck to you both!

Post # 17
Member
36 posts
Newbee

katiecat08:  How old are you if you do not mind me asking? Now in my opinion…and this is just my opinion if you can’t tell your parents how you feel, then you may not be ready/mature enough to be married.  Everyone deserves happiness.  Your parents were young and in love once so they should know how you feel.  If you are going to talk to them about this I suggest YOU BOTH sit down as a MATURE COUPLE and start off by saying “WE have decidied that…..”  You have to be a united front.  Now I don’t necessarily agree with some comments on here saying that “he should only join if….or its not good to join just for the benefits”….Look….people join the military for various reasons…just like people fill out job applications for various reasons…its a job..albeit a very important job, but its a job nonetheless and he could make it his career if you guys choose to.  If he wants to join the military to make a stable future for you guys thats yall’s business and no one elses.  Everyone who joins the military doesn’t do so because they are so PATRIOTIC/BLEEDS RED,WHITE, AND BLUE..and so on.  PPL do so because they want to start a career/pay bills/ go to school/ have health insurance etc.  so do WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU AND BE HAPPY 🙂

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