Post # 1
And it’s ivory.
Or, as close to ivory as you can get without actually being ivory.
It’s a really light beige/tan-ish color with ivory beading all over the top, and an ivory beaded jacket to go with it.
Remember how I posted a little while ago about her refusing my offer for a fun-girly-shopping-day to get her dress? http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/mother-of-groom-attire-rantadviceidk
I knew this would happen. She had an agenda, and didn’t want to go shopping with me because she wanted to pick something she knew wouldn’t fly with me.
On top of all this, she wants us to return the tie I bought Future Father-In-Law AS A GIFT for the wedding because it “doesn’t match the dress”. The tie is sage green. Since when does sage green not match ivory/beige?!
Just…wtf. I’m at a loss.
I haven’t seen it in person yet; Fiance saw it and sent me a picture (he didn’t know MOG wearing ivory was a no-no so he didn’t say anything to her). So I haven’t seen Future Mother-In-Law yet since she bought it. Whenever I see her next and she shows me the dress in person, should I say something to her about it, or should I just let it go and relish in the fact that she’s the one that this is going to reflect badly on, not me?
Post # 3
Aw I’m sorry she did that! I would be equally as upset if I were in your position, but don’t let it get to you. I promise you that NO ONE will be able to outshine you as the bride on your big day! 🙂
Post # 4
I’d let it go, especially if you think she is looking for a reaction from you. In fact, I’d probably go overboard gushing about how “perfect” it is! 🙂
Realistically, no one will think she is the bride. Anyone with any good sense will realize how wrong she is, and you are only in a couple (if even more than one) formal pictures with her.
I promise, in the end it won’t be a big deal.
Post # 5
My dad’s mom did this to my mom. My mom said she was super pissed at the time, but by the time the wedding day came she didn’t care. And it was my grandma that looked like a jerk for doing that.
It sounds like she did this on purpose, so I wouldn’t say anything to her. If you make a negative comment, she will think she got under your skin. Just say “oh, what a pretty dress”, and then move on.
Post # 6
Don’t even worry about it. Everyone knows she is just the mother of the groom. I imagine guests will probably think it’s a little strange and she will end up looking like the moron in the end. You will not even be thinking about that on your big day! 🙂
Post # 7
You know, I think with this one you just need to realize there are certain battles you can’t win, and this is one of them. I doubt she will look better than you, shes definitely much older. So you should be fine.
Post # 8
I’m sorry she did that to you too, although I have to say the dress I picked for my own mother is white and silver lol…but I’m a different kind of person, I know that already! 😛 Most people do not like anyone else wearing white but my dress is ivory and I guess I’m not worried about her ‘out-shining’ me. HONESTLY—my feelings are known that I don’t give a crap if either of the mothers wear white. However, it’s obvious that yours are different, and if she knew that, then it will reflect badly on her AND will only magnify how AWESOME you look in YOUR dress. Don’t sweat the small stuff babe! I think of it like this–you have the rest of your life with this woman (or the rest of hers, rather, assuming you outlive her) and you should take the high road. If she knows she got to you she will bad mouth you to others and if you don’t give that opportunity to her she will have to deal with the fact that she knows its a faux pas and you graciously complimented her on it instead of made a snide comment. Sounds like she is wanting to get a rise out of you, my advice is don’t go there with her…also, it’s a hard position for your fiance too 🙁 No matter how nutty or rude she is, she’s still his mom you know? Just my opinion though 🙂
Post # 9
Aww that sucks. Im having similar issues where my Future Mother-In-Law is looking for a very extravagant beaded, fit n flare dress (iin gold no less) where mine is a simple sheath.
I learned to deal by telling myself, and I tell myself a lot: “I wont be the one who looks ridiculous”.
Dont return the tie. Buy matching cufflinks while your at it. lol
Post # 10
I’m not worried about her being mistaken for being the bride haha, I just can’t believe she went this far, on top of our already rocky relationship and the rude comments she made about my (dead) mother. (See the prev thread for that story.)
Y’all are right though, I’m not going to give her the satisfaction of knowing this pissed me off. I know she did it on purpose. At this point I’d rather her make a fool of herself in front of everyone at the wedding by wearing this dress, that way she’ll get what’s coming to her.
Post # 11
My ex Mother-In-Law wore black to my XH and my wedding. Not just a simple black dress, but like layers of black and a black shawl. People talked about that for years, both my family and his. Not that black is not wedding appropriate, but not so much for the MOG. Same will probably happen at yours, people will think she’s the jerk for wearing ivory.
Post # 12
@MASPA: LOL definitely not returning the tie, I put my foot down on that right away. She got all weird about me buying the dads (BOTH of them, mine and FI’s) ties, she thought I was trying to be a control freak harpy bridezilla, so this is her trying to get her way by getting to pick his own tie. Uh, no, I just thought I’d get them something nice that they could wear to the wedding, you’re not pulling the wool over my eyes that easily. My dad loves his, Future Father-In-Law likes his. Fiance likes both of them, I like both of them. STFU, Future Mother-In-Law. 🙂
Post # 13
It’s ok, she’ll look bad, not you. Sorry she feels compelled to be difficult.
Post # 14
@Legallyblondiebride: Totally agree.
And if you think what she wants is a reaction from you then DON’T give it. And if somehow, she genuinely doesn’t know she did anything wrong, you still come our smelling clean.
Your’re the bride, you’re going to be gorgeous and the total center of attention on the day of, she’ll just look silly.
Post # 15
Don’t say a word. She’s going to look ridiculous.
if it were me I’d gush over how much I love it, take pics and then post those pics everywhere so people can see her poor judgment.
But that’s just me. LOL
Post # 16
I think I would wait to see the color of the dress in person before I passed judgement. Pics from phone or camera via computer can be a tatally different color.
It is not uncommon for MOB and MOB to wear champagne, beige or light taupe dresses as those colors are flattering to older skin tones.