(Closed) Welp, my FMIL bought her dress for the wedding…

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Aw I’m sorry she did that! I would be equally as upset if I were in your position, but don’t let it get to you. I promise you that NO ONE will be able to outshine you as the bride on your big day!  πŸ™‚

Post # 4
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’d let it go, especially if you think she is looking for a reaction from you.  In fact, I’d probably go overboard gushing about how “perfect” it is!  πŸ™‚

Realistically, no one will think she is the bride.  Anyone with any good sense will realize how wrong she is, and you are only in a couple (if even more than one) formal pictures with her. 

I promise, in the end it won’t be a big deal.

Post # 5
3942 posts
Honey bee

My dad’s mom did this to my mom. My mom said she was super pissed at the time, but by the time the wedding day came she didn’t care. And it was my grandma that looked like a jerk for doing that.

It sounds like she did this on purpose, so I wouldn’t say anything to her. If you make a negative comment, she will think she got under your skin. Just say “oh, what a pretty dress”, and then move on.

Post # 6
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Don’t even worry about it. Everyone knows she is just the mother of the groom. I imagine guests will probably think it’s a little strange and she will end up looking like the moron in the end. You will not even be thinking about that on your big day! πŸ™‚

Post # 7
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You know, I think with this one you just need to realize there are certain battles you can’t win, and this is one of them. I doubt she will look better than you, shes definitely much older. So you should be fine.

Post # 8
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry she did that to you too, although I have to say the dress I picked for my own mother is white and silver lol…but I’m a different kind of person, I know that already! πŸ˜›  Most people do not like anyone else wearing white but my dress is ivory and I guess I’m not worried about her ‘out-shining’ me. HONESTLY—my feelings are known that I don’t give a crap if either of the mothers wear white. However, it’s obvious that yours are different, and if she knew that, then it will reflect badly on her AND will only magnify how AWESOME you look in YOUR dress. Don’t sweat the small stuff babe! I think of it like this–you have the rest of your life with this woman (or the rest of hers, rather, assuming you outlive her) and you should take the high road. If she knows she got to you she will bad mouth you to others and if you don’t give that opportunity to her she will have to deal with the fact that she knows its a faux pas and you graciously complimented her on it instead of made a snide comment. Sounds like she is wanting to get a rise out of you, my advice is don’t go there with her…also, it’s a hard position for your fiance too πŸ™  No matter how nutty or rude she is, she’s still his mom you know? Just my opinion though πŸ™‚

Post # 9
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

Aww that sucks.  Im having similar issues where my Future Mother-In-Law is looking for a very extravagant beaded, fit n flare dress (iin gold no less) where mine is a simple sheath. 

I learned to deal by telling myself, and I tell myself a lot: “I wont be the one who looks ridiculous”.

Dont return the tie.  Buy matching cufflinks while your at it. lol

Post # 11
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My ex Mother-In-Law wore black to my XH and my wedding.  Not just a simple black dress, but like layers of black and a black shawl.  People talked about that for years, both my family and his.  Not that black is not wedding appropriate, but not so much for the MOG.  Same will probably happen at yours, people will think she’s the jerk for wearing ivory.   

Post # 13
4474 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It’s ok, she’ll look bad, not you.  Sorry she feels compelled to be difficult.  Frown

Post # 14
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@Legallyblondiebride:  Totally agree. 

And if you think what she wants is a reaction from you then DON’T give it. And if somehow, she genuinely doesn’t know she did anything wrong, you still come our smelling clean.

Your’re the bride, you’re going to be gorgeous and the total center of attention on the day of, she’ll just look silly. 

Post # 15
5072 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Don’t say a word.  She’s going to look ridiculous.

if it were me I’d gush over how much I love it, take pics and then post those pics everywhere so people can see her poor judgment.

But that’s just me.  LOL

Post # 16
47344 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think I would wait to see the color of the dress in person before I passed judgement. Pics from phone or camera via computer can be a tatally different color.

It is not uncommon for MOB and MOB to wear champagne, beige or light taupe dresses as those colors are flattering to older skin tones.

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