(Closed) Went ring shopping the other day… BUT :/

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If you’re having these thoughts now I can only imagine they get worse unless you be active in changing the situation. I suggest get moving on your plans for your life ASAP and wait for the marriage to happen naturally after that.

Post # 4
Member
1899 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I agree with @vmec. It sounds like you are completely dependent on your SO financially. That’s not healthy for your relationship and will really detrimental to your future if things don’t work out for some reason. If he were to divorce you tomorrow, you would have nothing in your own name and no way to support yourself. Go back to school, get your degree, and then you can think about getting married. You didn’t really explain how long you and your SO have been together, but it doesn’t sound like very long. And let’s face you, you are very very young to be thinking about marriage. If you love him and he loves you, he will still be there once you’ve made the positive steps in your future and then you two can think about marriage.

Post # 7
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Things can change quickly. In only a year or two you could have your life together, feel much more confident, and more prepared to “move on” with life. And there’s no rush – you are still young, and you’ve only been together a short while. If it were me, I’d probably proceed with the engagement this summer, but plan on making it a long one – say two years – and have specific goals that you plan to meet before the wedding. 

Post # 9
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@theatrenerd: Are you suggesting you have absolutly NO way to get around?Transit? Carpooling? Most schools in a city have trasnportation to and from. Does your bf drive you every single place you go? How’d you get on before you hooked up with him?

Post # 11
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Just wanted to welcome you and good luck with your future decision.

Post # 12
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My suggestion to you then is to take the bus and get your butt in school. Waiting is so much easier when you’re busy. I’d know. I was like you doing nothing but working full time. Waiting was hard becasue I thought what’s he waiting FOR? Then I decided to get up and do something with my life. This included me going back to school full time at night. He was proud. I thought he’d wait to propose until I was done school needless to say after 1 semester of working my ass off in school he was down on one knee.

Post # 14
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I strongly suggest going to college at least to get your life on track.  You cannot solely depend on one person.  It’s not healthy.  

Is there any way you can apply to the college he’s teaching at?  That could help with getting to and from the college until you can start driving again.

I don’t mean to sound rude, but college education is so important these days.  Sitting at home with nothing to do is going to do no good to you or your relationship – unless for some reason he has NO problem with it, but he should if he truly cares about your future and well being.

Good luck.

Post # 16
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@theatrenerd: I completely understand.  I went through hard times myself (battled bi-polar disorder/depression) before I decided sitting around feeling bad for myself wasn’t getting me anywhere.  Once you get motivated and get the ball rolling, you’ll feel so much better.

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