(Closed) Went to a wedding. . . changed my perspective on waiting

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Aww, I am happy that this was a positive post and that you and SO are still “in it to win it”.  (Sorry if that was cheeseball, lol) Best of luck to you!

Post # 5
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

That is awesome. I see so many women who never stop thinking of the next step as merely a heightened version of the relationship they’re in, and they end up getting in way over their heads, or missing out on the joys of their relationship as it is. Glad you dodged that. Way to rise above the Wedding Industrial Complex!

Post # 6
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You must feel a lot better finding this realization! Happy for you 🙂 

Post # 7
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

This sounds like a really mature and thoughtful revalation.  I’m glad you’re feeling good about things and you’re right – marriage is serious!  I think it’s easy to get caught up in all the societal pressures and ring talk and wedding planning “stuff”.  Good luck to you both in the future and hopefully you’ll be able to grow together and jump in together when you’re both ready.

Post # 8
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Glad you realized all that. It must not only be a big relief to you but also your SO. Many a man feel pressured by their girlfriends to pop the question and those rarely turn out well. More people need to realize marriage is a big committment, not just a status. Throughout the last year of our relationship I kept questioning the idea of marrying him anytime we fought, or anytime I learned a new quirk of his. It was more and more “Is this something i can live with forever?” or wondering if we were as happy as we always thought. The closer we got to the possibility of getting engaged and getting married, the more I thought about if i was ready and if we as a couple were ready. You should question things to some point before a huge life altering decision, nothing as big as marriage should be taken lightly. We are happily engaged and frustratingly wading through the planning of our wedding next year, having a tight budget makes things difficult, that and having a family and Fiance that are against just going to the courthouse.

Post # 9
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Tiffmorris:  I do the same thing – every time we face a new challenge or have an argument, I think about the lifelong commitment meaning I get the good and the bad.  And in some ways, what we are currently facing, while difficult, makes it more apparent to me that he is the one I want to spend forever with. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

CONGRATULATIONS !!

You have just realized something… that unfortunately a lot of Guys & Gals don’t grasp BEFORE they get Engaged.

You’ve heard it before… Engagements don’t FIX relationships, or make them better(too many folks think that).

Engagements just make you realize that what “you have day-to-day” is what is AMAZING

Too many people in the “Waiting” Category, are wasting their time “waiting” rather than being out there living their lives… and enjoying what the Relationship is NOW

As someone who was married the first time for aprox 25 Years, I can honestly say 99% of being married is just life, and routine… Work – Pay Bills – Eat – Watch Tv – Chase after Kids – Do Laundry – Haggle with the Inlaws – Sleep… and get up the next day and do it all over again.

The remaining 1%… is the Day you Celebrate a Promotion – Pay Off the Mortgage – Watch your kids Graduate – Cry on your Spouse’s Shoulder when you Bury a Parent – Go on an Incredible Vacation – Celebrate an Anniversary – or Have a Grand-Baby

If you can SURVIVE the 99% then the 1% is INCREDIBLE AND ALL WORTH WHILE.

Not the other way around… (lots of folks lose out the the 99 to 1 odds)

 

Post # 11
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I am glad something positive came out of this for you!

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