(Closed) Went to a wedding last weekend: a lesson in what not to do

posted 6 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Those are the types of weddings where i wonder why they are even getting married.  I will forgive logistic mess ups if the bride and groom look so in love i cant help but feel it and smile!

Post # 4
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

That’s sad.  ๐Ÿ™  Seeing the backs of the photographer and videographer the entire time is what would bother me the most.

The one thing I’m worried about: we’re not saying our own vows.  Frankly, I’m going to be balling, missing my dad (he passed away two years ago) and I don’t think I’ll get any words out beyond, “Yes” and “I do.”  I’m worried people will feel that the ceremony wasn’t personal enough.  

We’ll be sure to smile alot though.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Luv2BeachIt:  I think as long as what the officiant is saying about the two of you is warm and personal, “yes” or “I do” is fine.  It sounds to me like the problem with this ceremony was that the ceremony itself was mainly just general talk about marriage or religious scripture, and nothing about them as people.

Post # 6
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

“Out of the 300 guests that were at the reception only about 50 showed up to the ceremony.  Not really something the couple could have controlled but WTF?!” 

This could have been on purpose, many couples choose to have an intimate ceremony and invite more people to just the reception. 


It sounds like many of the vendors were not very respectful, and I feel bad for the couple.  I would guess a lot of their lack of smiles were based on this.  Mistakes happen, but it sounds like this wedding wasn’t much fun for anyone– especailly the bride and groom. 

Post # 7
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

i def agree with you- weddings are a time of celebration but also a time to show love and warmth

Post # 8
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Wow. And my Mom thought my photographer was a little “obtrusive” because at one point he was crouched down next to her (not blocking anything).

I would have elbowed that photographer really quick, to keep him in line.

Post # 9
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Do you think the couple knew about the advertising in advance? Perhaps for a discount? I know sometimes that happens … 

Post # 10
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I went to a wedding a few years ago that felt almost identical to what you described: cold, impersonal, no love, no organization, no thought. I’m not sure which is worse, the actual suffering you go through as a guest, or the thought that the newly-married couple look so loveless and unsmiling that they must be miserable at their own wedding.

I don’t understand events like these, which is why I so appreciate the more modern trend to personalize (even if it occasionally results in screw-ball, over-personalized, and wacky) weddings. 

Post # 11
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

Out of everything you said, the only thing that actually really bothered me was that the bride and groom didn’t smile, except for pics. That is sad. ๐Ÿ™ Does that mean they didn’t want to be married? I smiled and laughed and had a blast the entire time! I wonder if the couple didn’t really want to be married?

I can’t believe the photographer and videographer were in the way. Ours were both great about not doing that! And why was everybody so late in attending? I’ve never seen that at a wedding before. 95% of my guests were seated within 10 minutes of me walking down the aisle. How is that possible that you got there on the later side but were the first to arrive? That’s nuts!

Sounds like an awful wedding. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 12
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I just hope the bride and groom dont recognise that picture and realize this post is directed at them.

Post # 13
Member
5073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

poor things.  You always hear the worries about guests getting out of control and jumping in the way for pictures.  People forget that professionals can be just as intrusive.

Post # 14
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Jenn23:  That’s the first thing I thought of. I was smiling like a crazy person all day and half the pics are of me laughing. It makes me sad to hear that they didn’t seem like they were enjoying the day!

Maybe I’m a rude bitch, but I’ve whispered at a photographer and asked them to move a bit during a wedding ceremony before. :/ Yes, pictures are important, but that’s what they invented zoom lenses for. I had two photographers and they managed to not get in anyone’s way.

Post # 15
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you are being a bit judgmental about the ceremony.  This wedding was clearly at a church.  Most religious ceremonies (especially Catholic, Episcopal, Jewish, Orthodox, etc.) do not allow the couple to speak.  It is supposed to be a solemn and religious moment, not about the couple or their “secular” love for one another.  So if that church or religion has meaning to the couple or the couple’s family…they’re pretty much out of luck.  Some more lenient churches will allow the couple to tailor the wedding more, but that is at the sole discretion of the church.

Post # 16
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@EffieTrinket:  Good point.  We specifically decided to have someone we knew as our officiant to help offset the impersonalness of not doing our own vows.

Not sure if “impersonalness” is a real word.  

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