(Closed) Went to look at rings…but didn't purchase…anxeity has set in….HELP

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My fiance and I went ring shopping over a YEAR before we got engaged.  Men are weird about that kind of thing- at least mine was.  He really really wanted it to be a surprise and HE wanted to do it.  I told him “just order it and it’ll come in the mail and I’ll get it.” HAAAA, yeah right.  He made me wait.

Post # 18
5 posts

I’ve come to the realization that we will never understand men! They claim we’re the hard ones to understand, but we’re really not that complicated Wink

My SO and I went ring shopping together (again, 100% his idea too) in December. We went to a couple jewelers and found “the one” and even put a deposit down to reserve the diamond because it was a great deal on the center stone (we had done a ton of research on diamonds). When we left the jeweler and got to the car he sat in silence for a long minute and said, “Do you know what we just did?” He meant that in a good way. It’s adorbale how excited he is to get married. Anyways…it’s now the last day of February and still no proposal in sight. I know he has the ring already, but I just get the overwhelming feeling he plans on proposing on summer vacation which is in August. I’ve never pressured him about a proposal because I honestly want it to be genuine, but it’s so hard to wait! I never thought I’d become this impatient, but knowing he has the ring and could propose anytime is just killing me.

At least we have each other to lean on while we wait. I just spend hours drooling over everyone’s gorgeous rings while I wait for mine.

Post # 20
53 posts
Worker bee

Of course none of us can be sure, but it sure sounds like he’s just trying to do this in secret. Some guys are really adamant about handling the e-ring alone, so maybe he just feels like its his “job” to do it without you.

Post # 21
119 posts
Blushing bee

Sorry, but it sounds like he went only to appease you and isn’t ready yet.

Post # 22
3208 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@ny88:  was going to look at rings entirely his suggestion, or was it to appease you? Has he shown any enthusiasm about getting engaged?

Post # 25
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Def he’s not going to buy the ring with you there. The surprise of getting is is what most men bank on when proposing!


Plus, if you knew he had the ring (which I know my man has had mine for months now) and he didn’t propose, wouldn’t you be stressd all the time thinking of when it’s coming or why it hasn’t happened yet?

I dealt with that for the first few months the ring was in the house and it’s torture. Not that I regret designing it with him, but it’s hard, after 7 years, to not go in the sock drawer and pull it out and put it on!

I wish you all the best, and hope you get the ring and the proposal you always wished for! <3

Post # 26
3900 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2007 - City, State

I think he wants to surprise you with it. 

Post # 28
3729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

@ny88:  If he is shy, has he considered online? I swear if my husband had to go into a store we would still be dating. Online made so much more sense for us– the store is super scary and high pressure. We/He found it much easier to treat it like he was buying socks off of Amazon.

I didn’t care how it happened, as long as it got onto my finger.

Post # 29
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My Darling Husband and I looked at rings in Sept/Oct-ish a couple years ago and I was SO EXCITED OMG OMG but he never bought it. To my knowledge.

Turns out that he wanted an idea of how much what I wanted would cost him so he could start saving for it (he did a 0% payment plan in the end cuz that’s the type of thing he does), and he actually went to the jeweler and sat there for two whole days looking at diamonds and settings while I thought he was at work. When he “got home from work early” it was actually not because everyone was out of town for the holidays as he’d said (he went in December of that year), it was because he had been out ring shopping and finished early on the 2nd day.

Your boyfriend probably just needs to get some cash together and might want to pick out your diamond by himself without you. My Darling Husband is SOOOOOOOOOO proud of his choice, he labored over picking the “right” diamond for me. It’s a particular point of pride for him that it was HIS choice and HIS surprise for me.

I wouldn’t sweat.

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