MemberMy fiance and I went ring shopping over a YEAR before we got engaged. Men are weird about that kind of thing- at least mine was. He really really wanted it to be a surprise and HE wanted to do it. I told him “just order it and it’ll come in the mail and I’ll get it.” HAAAA, yeah right. He made me wait.
MemberI’ve come to the realization that we will never understand men! They claim we’re the hard ones to understand, but we’re really not that complicated 
My SO and I went ring shopping together (again, 100% his idea too) in December. We went to a couple jewelers and found “the one” and even put a deposit down to reserve the diamond because it was a great deal on the center stone (we had done a ton of research on diamonds). When we left the jeweler and got to the car he sat in silence for a long minute and said, “Do you know what we just did?” He meant that in a good way. It’s adorbale how excited he is to get married. Anyways…it’s now the last day of February and still no proposal in sight. I know he has the ring already, but I just get the overwhelming feeling he plans on proposing on summer vacation which is in August. I’ve never pressured him about a proposal because I honestly want it to be genuine, but it’s so hard to wait! I never thought I’d become this impatient, but knowing he has the ring and could propose anytime is just killing me.
At least we have each other to lean on while we wait. I just spend hours drooling over everyone’s gorgeous rings while I wait for mine.
Member@MsW-to-MrsM: I’m in the same boat now. Last night I told him it’s like waiting for water to boil. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. He didn’t like that response. Oh, well, my ignorance was truly bliss.
MemberOf course none of us can be sure, but it sure sounds like he’s just trying to do this in secret. Some guys are really adamant about handling the e-ring alone, so maybe he just feels like its his “job” to do it without you.
MemberSorry, but it sounds like he went only to appease you and isn’t ready yet.
Member@ny88: was going to look at rings entirely his suggestion, or was it to appease you? Has he shown any enthusiasm about getting engaged?
MemberTHIS IS AN UPDATE!!!
I’ve recently been experiencing distateful candidness from some bee’s based off another thread I created regarding FMIL/FSIL’s. So I’m here to clarify things. Last night I spoke my mind and I told my SO I wish we never went into the jewelry store because now I’m obssessed and anxious. I told him I didn’t want to talk engagment/rings anymore because the added stress is unecessary. He replied with, “I love you and I do want to marry you.” I’m thinking that still isn’t giving me any idea of if you’re considering the ring/purchased the ring. This morning I believe I overheard him talking to his father about our visit, and when I entered the room he abruptly ended the call. My second thread was created because I have new hope. There is a possibility that this engagement can happen sooner than later and now I’ve developed new anxieties in the form of his two sisters and overbearing mother. All is detailed on my other thread.
I’m not here to spout “shenanigans” as one bee stated. I’m here because I’ve viewed this site for years before I became a member and I loved the supportive community that this site had to offer. Like most of you I may possibly be entering a new unchartered phase in my life and that’s why I”m creating thread and conversations in order to best prepare myself. Any and all opinion are much appreciated.
Thanks!
Member@flowercrowns: It was honestly his suggestion. We always have conversations about our future, where we’re going to live, combining finances. He is and has always been the one to bring up things like that. He was even the one to bring up moving in together. So this is why his response was sort of a shock.
MemberDef he’s not going to buy the ring with you there. The surprise of getting is is what most men bank on when proposing!
Plus, if you knew he had the ring (which I know my man has had mine for months now) and he didn’t propose, wouldn’t you be stressd all the time thinking of when it’s coming or why it hasn’t happened yet?
I dealt with that for the first few months the ring was in the house and it’s torture. Not that I regret designing it with him, but it’s hard, after 7 years, to not go in the sock drawer and pull it out and put it on!
I wish you all the best, and hope you get the ring and the proposal you always wished for! <3
MemberMember@snowball543: thanks for the words of encouragement! I’m on day #2 of not bringing it up. Wish me luck !
Member@ny88: If he is shy, has he considered online? I swear if my husband had to go into a store we would still be dating. Online made so much more sense for us– the store is super scary and high pressure. We/He found it much easier to treat it like he was buying socks off of Amazon.
I didn’t care how it happened, as long as it got onto my finger.
MemberMy Darling Husband and I looked at rings in Sept/Oct-ish a couple years ago and I was SO EXCITED OMG OMG but he never bought it. To my knowledge.
Turns out that he wanted an idea of how much what I wanted would cost him so he could start saving for it (he did a 0% payment plan in the end cuz that’s the type of thing he does), and he actually went to the jeweler and sat there for two whole days looking at diamonds and settings while I thought he was at work. When he “got home from work early” it was actually not because everyone was out of town for the holidays as he’d said (he went in December of that year), it was because he had been out ring shopping and finished early on the 2nd day.
Your boyfriend probably just needs to get some cash together and might want to pick out your diamond by himself without you. My Darling Husband is SOOOOOOOOOO proud of his choice, he labored over picking the “right” diamond for me. It’s a particular point of pride for him that it was HIS choice and HIS surprise for me.
I wouldn’t sweat.
Member@Pollywog: Surprisingly, before he suggested going ring looking I had suggested looking online. I never realized that a setting could be sold seperately from a diamond and I never realized how expensive it could be. And just my luck/dismay the first store we walked into a store that showcased Verragio’s. I found a gorgeous ring I liked and he had the jeweler take down his information i.e. name and number and record the ring number. When I got home I looked up the ring because I was so excited and thats where I noticed how expensive just the setting alone was. I brought this to my SO’s attention but he refused to look anywhere else because he wants me to have the original ring I chose. Ugggh, I’m so frustrated. Thanks for the post!
Member@icanhearyousmile: That was so sweet. My SO is the same way. Before we left the jeweler he asked for me to go sit outside so he can talk to the jeweler privately. He later told me he discussed prices and asked to see the diamond under the microscope so he can get a closer look at a diamond.lol. The jeweler was shocked to say the least. I can say that it’s definitely nothing related to money. He saves like no one I know. I just don’t know what it is. Why speak to the jeweler privately? Why keep the ring code and ring size on his bedside table?
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