(Closed) Went to look at rings…but didn't purchase…anxeity has set in….HELP

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ny88:  Because that’s what they do. They write it down and they give it to you because they want you to buy it. We looked in a Zales because I liked Scott Kay settings, and we were at the mall when we spontaneously went in and got me sized and verified that I did indeed still like Scott Kay. He ended up buying from Jared, though. They DID let him look under the microscope at them (like I said, he sat there doing so for two days), and they answered all of his questions. We still had the stupid business card from Zales with the number on it and stuff that he threw on his desk. He had no intention of going there, that’s just what they do because they want the sale. 

Post # 34
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ny88:  Then I’d say just shut up and stop being anxious and let him do his thing. Obviously he’s serious and obviously he’s looking and wants to surprise you. Don’t ruin it. Just be patient.

Post # 35
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

 It gets to a point where he’s going to start thinking that you care more about the ring and the wedding than actually marrying HIM. The best thing you can do is just stop. Don’t bring up anything ring or wedding related. If he brings up plans, just smile sincerely and say ‘we have plenty of time to figure that out after we get engaged, no reason to worry about it right now’. If you NEED to talk about the ring, talk to a friend who can keep her mouth shut, or vent here ๐Ÿ™‚ But you’ve made it clear to him what you want, and what your expectations are. Now is the time to be patient.

Post # 37
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ny88:  I pinned the shit out of things on Pinterest and daydreamed. But honestly, when it came down to it, I was so excited that HE asked me to marry him, that I threw the ring box aside and cried and hugged him for like..three or four minutes. He was actually stumped that I wasn’t more “GASP OMG THE RING!” and instead was like “GASP OMG YOU ASKED ME TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER AND YOURE MY PERSON!” Lol. That’s what REALLY counts, anyway.

Post # 38
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@ny88:  I totally feel your pain on this one. My Fiance did the same thing when we went ring shopping back in March of 2013. It was super frustrating lol. I got to look at rings for a little while, then him and the sales guy kicked me out and I stood outside for 15 minutes while they talked…and that was pretty much the last time we discussed rings. Talk about anxiety from March til December when he announced that he had picked up something that I wanted..and tortured me all month til my birthday, when he finally proposed! It sounds like your guy might be doing something very similar. Try not to obsess. Easier said than done…I know. Just vent here ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 38
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I wouldn’t worried about it…. He probably just needs time. 

My FH has the Engagement Ring and still hasn’t proposed, yet we have our wedding all booked and it’s only 5 months away! He says we both know we love each other and that we are to be married but he still wants to be able to surprise me with a proposal when I least expect it. 

Like you, I had worried about why he hadn’t done it yet….and I even caught myself re-applying nailpolish….lipstick etc every time he suggested something out of out normal day to day stuff….

 just remind yourself that you guys will never get this moment again and enjoy the build up to it. ๐Ÿ™‚

ive stopped fixing the nail polish and lippy and know that whenever he does ask, he will have definitely surprised me! 

 

Good luck ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 39
Member
1731 posts
Bumble bee

ny88:  I feel your pain!!! I had to wait about two months after we went ring shopping. It was the longest two months of my life! No matter how hard I tried to NOT think about getting engaged, I couldn’t stop!!!!

Maybe he wants to go back and decide on diamonds and down payments without you knowing! That’s what my fiancé did. Apparently a couple of those “grocery store” trips actually were trips to the jeweler and phone calls to my mother lol! 

 

Post # 40
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My Fiance is very frugal, and we didn’t get the ring until a while after we were engaged. Even then, I don’t think it cost more than $1500. He isn’t poor, but he isn’t rich. We are just saving for our future, and I think when it comes to making such a big purchase, it’s easy for guys to get caught up in the idea of wow this is a lot of money I’m spending on one thing. He might just want to take his time to make sure it’s the right thing. Just in case you change your mind. 

Post # 42
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My fiance and I looked at rings for 9 months. Partly because he wouldn’t commit/wasn’t ready to buy. It was really frustrating. He had a set budget and the ring I wanted came in about 3000 under it but he still held back. We got engaged in the middle of all of it without a ring (I wanted him to propose when he wanted to propose, not when he had a ring). Then I was upset that he had shot down the ring I wanted amd nothing seemed to measure up so we just kept looking. In the end, I love my ring and I couldn’t be happier. Trust me, I know it’s hard. Just try to be patient. Hopefully it’ll all work out for the best and you’ll have a beautiful new ring to show off!

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