(Closed) We're Broke but Fi wants to spend

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@FutureArmyWife12:  I understand this all the way. We recently got married, moved right after, so we don’t have bookoos of cash to spend on Christmas presents this year. I literally used a gift card that we got as a wedding present to buy Darling Husband a few gifts. I bought a few pre-owned video games to send back home for my nephew, and that’s been it. I love to buy gifts for people, so it’s easy to just keep spending, but I know it’s not responsible. I can understand him wanting to buy gifts for everyone, but it’s also important for him to realize that Christmas isn’t supposed to be about the gifts. If he insists that you all send gifts, could it be something homemade? Like baking some cookies & sending them, put a small gift set together, etc? If that’s out of the question, I’m sure his family would understand with just getting cards. Honestly, if any grown adult is upset because you didn’t buy them a Christmas gift… they need to re-evaluate themselves. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.

Maybe just sit him down and explain that going into debt to buy gifts shouldn’t be an option. Weddings aren’t cheap, neither is moving, so you’re doing the right thing by trying to limit the spending! Good luck.

Post # 4
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Tell him you have to cancel the cable, phone, internet and eat ramen now because of what he did. 

Post # 6
Member
3340 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

My fiance and I had a similar conversation recently.  I thought we should skip gifts all together, but he feels obligated to buy presents for (wait for it): his mom, dad, 2 grandmothers, 2 grandfathers, 2 brothers, one of his brother’s girlfriends, 1 uncle, and 2 aunts!  Yikes!

The agreement we came to was that we could only spend $20 per person and even then, we have to try really hard to spend less than that.  All in all, we’ve done pretty good.  We’ve only spent $175 and there’s only a few people left on the list.

As to your situation, I don’t know what’s best for you.  If he really won’t budge, can you maybe make homemade gifts?  Could you send everyone cookies or hand knit scarves?  He definitely should not be spending money without your okay.  That’s a red flag for issues later on in life.  What happens when he wants to buy a $50K car?  Is he just going to do it without your okay then too?  This should be a bigger talk about money than just what you’re going to do this Christmas.

Watch Suze Orman’s “Can You Afford It?” segment.  Ask yourselves the same questions that she asks people who call in looking for advice.  It’s usually pretty obvious if you can or cannot afford something.

Post # 7
Member
8461 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@FutureArmyWife12:  *HUGS*  A tight Christmas budget can be tough to deal with.  My Fiance and I are going through the same situation.  We decided to compromise, and just bake cookies for everyone this year.  We got cheap dollar store tins, filled them with homemade cookies, paired with a handmade card, and handed them to friends and family.  It was less than $4 per gift. 

Post # 8
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

It will be so easy this year to not exchange!  Wait until you have kids and you have no choice but to buy gifts.

We stopped exchanging with family after we had my son.  It is just too damn expensive! 

I dont know how to convince him of this…My Fiance is somewhat the same.  Its very hard to get it in his head. 

Christmas is about so much more than gifts.  I would prefer to spend it with all of my family then get any gift at all (which I wont be this year!).

Post # 11
Member
6211 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@sienna76:  +1, I would also take away all his credit cards

Post # 14
Member
6211 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@FutureArmyWife12:  Sorry I missed your update! That’s great that he understands now that it just can’t be like that this year. 

Post # 16
Member
6211 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@FutureArmyWife12:  it’s totally understandable, especially since he’s taking a big step right now with getting married and probably feels like he should be able to afford gifts for all those people

The topic ‘We're Broke but Fi wants to spend’ is closed to new replies.

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