(Closed) We’re definitely Eloping! How to tell my BFF?

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s a good idea to wait til after the wedding. And if she asks just say this day (or 3 days) is about you! My only advice is don’t feel too hard on yourself. It’s what you both want. Good for you for eloping! I really wish it could be like that for me and my Fiance but I’m happy with how it’s turned out. 

Post # 4
3 posts


I’d advise you to tread very carefully and be sensitive. It sounds like you are since you are already considering how your friend might feel.

I found myself in a similar situation where two close friends of mine eloped to get married; I only found out after I’d been to help choose a wedding dress etc. I knew they wanted to go abroad to get married but didn’t realise that they would elope, just the two of them.

I was absolutely crushed; made worse by them both overlooking events such as my birthday.

Of course it is totally up to the bride and groom to have the wedding of their choice and your plans sound beautiful.

My friendship is nowhere near as close as it was and I will never forget how I was made to feel.

I think your friend will understand that you want to elope, I think it imperative though that you highlight that this is not a rejection or exclusion of her.

Good luck



Post # 5
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m having a super intimate wedding, family only, so I had to have this conversation with my BFF a few months ago. I basically enlisted her as my unofficial wedding planner, so she is with me in all planning and most decisions about the wedding, she just wont be there on the day. She was fine with it.

Post # 6
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We’re having an intimate wedding with just the two of us. We told everyone we just wanted to go somewhere and get married just the two of us. Our families were understanding.

When I told my best friend our plans, she responded with she wanted to be there too. Understandably, we’ve been friends since 2nd grade. I tried to explain to her that we didn’t want to whole wedding/reception thing and wanted the day to be about us instead of having to focus on whether people were going to get along or have a good time. I told her that it’d just be my fiance and I from the beginning.

I thought including her with wedding stuff like dress shopping would help her not feel left out. When we went, she proceeded to tell me that her husband gave her permission to travel for our wedding. I didn’t come out and say she wasn’t invited, but I tried to explain it’d be awkward to travel with us to our wedding/mini-honeymoon and if she were the only person there, our families may be upset that they weren’t given the option to come. She still didn’t understand, so finally the other day I had to emphasized “Just us two” and no one else and I think she finally realized I meant it.

It’s a tough situation, but it’ll be better if she knows beforehand.

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