(Closed) We're fighting about photography and it's bumming me out

posted 5 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@mousepeach:  can you have your mom gift it to you?

Post # 4
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If it’s important to you just book it, try to keep it on the cheaper side ($4k is a TON in my opinion). Down the road he’ll likely be glad he has the memories or he’ll get over it. 

Post # 5
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

4000 is a metric buttload of money to me. My photographer gave me over 2000 pictures + a free engagement shoot (We weren’t there when we got engaged so it turned into a free day after shoot) + album and we had teasers printed up at the reception and had to wait a whopping 3 days for all 3-4000 pictures show up, and she was like 1500 bucks. I’d never pay 4000 for a photographer unless they could sneeze gold.

If you want one that terribly, pay for it and have your mother say it was a gift.

Post # 7
3215 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@mousepeach:  it’s odd that he’s in a similar industry and thinks pro photography fees are bogus. I have pro protographer friends with packages starting at $2100, and I can assure you that their fees are low for what they do when the cost of equipment, training, time, prep, editing, insurance, etc are factored in. Pick a “better” photographer and you are then paying a premium for talent or style. The great majority of photographers don’t run highly lucrative businesses, but continue in the industry because they love what they do.

Do you want a wedding album or just some sort of visual keepsake? Would a videographer be a good compromise? 

I would give your guy some time to cool down, and write out a list of why pro photography is important to you. Also get a few quotes from different photographers, and have their work to show your Fiance. Finally, I think you need to calmly tell him that this is important to you and you require him to respect you enough to have a mature conversation about it, with the rational weighing of pros and cons. Good luck!


Post # 8
3731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@mousepeach:  Book a photographer. It’s the only thing most people have after their wedding to remind them of the good times. Our photog will cost us $3K to $3.6K. She has a BFA in photography, years of experience, a great body of work, and she keeps educating herself to stay on top of equipment, trends and the like. They are professionals and deserve to be paid for their craft.

Post # 9
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@mousepeach:  $4000 is pretty reasonable for NYC. I’d just tell him you really want this, your mom is gifting it to you and That’s the end of you. You’ll regret not getting pictures. And he needs to just suck it up and accept the help. That’s what parents do. Is he not used to people helping him out?

And just to add to other posters, I’m from the same NYC/Long island area and it’s almos impossible to get a photographer here for 1000-2000. Especially one with good reviews and experience. 


Post # 11
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I definitely would book a professional, but personally I wouldn’t spend 4k. That’s just me though. I have no doubt that their work is worth that much. But I do know you can get some really great work for less than that.


I’m just getting started with wedding photography and I think I take some pretty great shots. But because I’ve only shot about 8 weddings, I charge less. I’m sure there are photographers in a similar situation that would be a good compromise for you two.

Either way – fight for that professional, girl!

Post # 12
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Are you guys getting married in NYC? I can recommend you an amazing photographer in MI if you’re getting married here.

Post # 14
406 posts
Helper bee

4000 in NYC is incredibly reasonable. Has he had some sort of bad experience with a particular photographer or is he feeling some sort of shame about your mom giving you money? It’s weird that he’s a film maker but thinks photography is ” bogus”? I’d look further in to the motivations and perhaps if you do decide to hire a pro make sure he is okay with it. Id hate to take on a client only to find out they are hostile and unwanting of my services. 

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