Post # 1
Hi Bee’s –
We have had a lot of bumps in the road on our wedding planning journey. Some of which I believe could have been avoided had we communicated better. My FI and I are going to have a “family meeting” over dinner with both our immediate families 3 weeks from the wedding. My plan is to go over the day of schedule with them (explain our first looks, family photo’s, ceremony structure, etc.).
Is there anything else I should mention to them at this meeting? It seems like whenever we have a family function certian people feel like they are out of the loop and have an attitude because of it.
Post # 2
Good things to discuss, if you haven’t already:
– who is taking care of any final payments/gratuities on the wedding day (if there are any outstanding). Typically, the gratuities for the DJ/Band, limo driver, etc are paid the day-of by the best man or another delegate
– who is responsible for cards/boxed gifts brought to the reception? Someone has to be delegated to gather them and take them away the night of and deilver them to the couple
– who is giving speeches and how long should they be
– will you be doing a recieving line? When and who is in it?
– if you’re staying in a hotel the night-of, do you need a ride home the next day?
I think that’s it!
Post # 3
Good info! Commenting to follow.
Post # 4
What family pictures you will be taking. I know this will be a touchy topic at our wedding because of a divorce and a remarriage and the question of who will be in the “family” pictures. I think we are just going to have to take lots of pictures so we can get all of the combinations necessary.
Post # 5
If ppl tend to be in a funk at family functions saying it’s because they feel out of the loop, I’d guess the same would happen at your wedding. Only maybe they’ll just choose to not like something about the scheduling etc. just because someone is upset doesn’t necessarily mean anybody else did something wrong.
I wont be doing a mtg and will instead just have our planner send out a schedule because I don’t want ppl to think a mtg is a good time for complaints or changing our schedule. For instance, are both families okay with the idea of a first look? your ceremony? You know your families best but a mtg might just make the drama last weeks long instead of it just being at the wedding while you’re able to ignore it. Good luck either way
Post # 6
Meant2Bee: Hey!! We started this endeavor as well, starting with my Father’s sides (including himself, my sisters, FI, and aunts/uncle). I did a ‘quick guide’ to family portraits for the day of, as we are doing immediate family only right after the ceremony, including the order of pics and who is them. I started with my dad’s parents, as they are the weakest (health wise) and moved down the list from there. I gave my dad a handout to read over, which also included our rain plans – because pending rain – they will be outdoors.
I think the BIGGEST anxiety issue for ALL sides are who is getting where, when, and how will they get their car(s) if needed. Mainly, with our grandparents. This hit a nervous chord with my father, because he is riding the limo with me to the Church, but then after family portraits will seperate from the bridal party. So, I have one Aunt dropping him off, and waiting to take him to his car after the formals. I have another Aunt responsible for my grandparents that day, etc.
I think these meetings are a GREAT idea. It keeps everyone on the same page, definitely!!
Post # 7
I think any time you can sit down and ‘clear the air’ or ‘make things clearer’ is a great thing. I’d make sure to talk about who will handle ‘special guests’ (grandma who tends to wander off, or that uncle who tends to have too much), this way it avoids the ball getting dropped. I’d also use this as a time to solicite imput from your family members. Emphasize that this is the joining of two families and the beginning of two families working together. True they may never be best buds, but at least stress the importance of the day. You may find out that poeple can help in surprising ways, someone may not be able to watch grandma, but they are more than willing to drive gifts and decorations to and from the venue.
Remember to be flexible, try to keep emotion out of it (no crying, tantrums, etc) and be open-minded, talk about what help you need and listen to people’s suggestions, this is a two-way street, but it sounds like you’re on the right track.
Post # 8
LastGirlStanding: melizabe: Shkragoldfish: OUgal0004: renwoman:
ALL such great advice!!! I am going to write all of these downs and try to follow an “agenda”. 🙂