(Closed) We’re inviting children to our wedding… just not yours…

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

You can safely invite family who are kids. But to allow certain friends to bring their children and not allow the same courtesy for other friends is pretty rude and disrespectful, In My Humble Opinion. Family is family. People get that. But once you start slicing and dicing your friends like that, you are no longer in safe territory.

Post # 4
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Just address their invites to the parents only, and make your RSVPs say we have — spaces reserved for you, and fill in the blank for the number avalible hopefully they will get the hint.

Post # 5
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@lovekiss: agreed.

IF you do not invite the kids of these other guests, and they see the other kids that aren’t family, be prepared for some anger and resentment.  Plus, they might not even come if they can’t bring the kids.

Personally, if you aren’t going to invite THEIR kids, but other people’s kids (friends’ kids especially), then you shouldn’t invite the parents either.

Post # 6
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly if you invited me to a wedding in Disney World and not my kids (if I had any) I would probably just say no to avoid them freaking out about being denied a trip to disney world- maybe that’s just me (because I know that’s what I woulda done as a kid if my parents left me at home to go to disney world!)

Post # 7
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, I don’t think any parents are going to go to Disney for a wedding and leave their kids at home.

Post # 9
3579 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think, especially beacause it is at Disney, if you invite some you have to invite all situation.

I don’t think there is a nice way to invite any parents to Disney but to leave their kids at home!

Post # 10
2933 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you’re treading into dangerous territory, but most of all I agree with PP that I wouldn’t consider going to a wedding at Disney and not taking my kids (if I had any).  Disney is not my cup of tea but it’s like a kiddie Graceland.  Seems kind of unfair, you know?

That being said, this is your wedding.  If you want to have family and close friends’ kids and exclude others, that is your choice to make.  The etiquette gods might disagree, but at the end of the day you’re the ultimate decision maker.  Just be very prepared for angry responses and/or people who disregard your request and bring kids anyway.

Post # 12
1261 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

In this instance? I’d call it all or nothing. It would be heartbreaking for a child to know that their parents are going to Disney World and didn’t take them along, especially if there were other children there. You could always do a B list for the people with children.

Post # 13
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009


It doesn’t in my eyes and here’s why. You obviously are having an intimate Destination Wedding wedding with 50 people. My BF did the same thing and everyone there were people that they were very close with and cared for deeply. After all, those are the people that will travel for you and do all this especially around Christmas if that’s your real date. I would feel if I was one of your guests whose children are not invited that I’m special enough to invite but not my children? Yes I would be hurt and offended and would not go.

Post # 14
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

The guest list is yours, and you are able to invite any children you choose, and leave off any children you choose, but be prepared for hurt feelings among friends if you allow the “well behaved children of John and Sue” to come, but “Peggy and Matt’s son who doesn’t sit still and will probably throw peas during the reception, plus we don’t know him as well” doesn’t make the cut. – Peggy and Matt, if they attend at all, may have a strained relationship with you for a while once they realize that it wasn’t that you didn’t have room for friends’ children, it was that you didn’t have room for THEIR child.

Now, they certainly could bring their pea throwing angel to Orlando, find a nice sitter in the hotel and hope that the resort’s child care service is as good as advertised… but, if they aren’t so close to you that you don’t feel you can’t celebrate without their child, they might not feel that you aren’t so close to them that they absolutely MUST be in attendance at your wedding.

Guest lists are tough – especially in small venues.  There isn’t anything wrong with limiting them.  But there also isn’t anything wrong with guests politely declining an invitation if the situation will not work for them.  Try to keep that in mind, and do whatever you think will work best, and be the most kind and welcoming to your guests.

Post # 15
3457 posts
Sugar bee

Can you offer a babysitter during the ceremony and reception for those parents who want to bring their kids to Disney, but for whom you won’t have room to fit into the wedding?

Post # 16
5592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think I’d go to Disneyworld and leave my kids at home if I had any.  That just seems really mean.  I was going to say the same as @soupycat, that couldn’t you set up a babysitter or alternate activity just during the wedding that the kids could go to?  Even if there was a fee for the parents, it might be a thought. 

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