Post # 32
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
I seem to have a differing opinion from PPs, partially. Sure, I understand some friends will be disappointed to see other friends’ children, but not there’s were invited to attend. But, some parents might bring the kids and find a sitter (though, yes, if you provide it, it would be 100 times better). Also, some parents might welcome the adult time, away from their kids– but this doesn’t prohibit the parents from extending the visit to include time at Disney for the kids. And just to be clear, just because the wedding is at Disney doesn’t mean there are rides or Mickey included.
If you explain it’s because of space constraints (and it really is), then you’ll be fine.
Post # 33
I generally don’t agree with any children at weddings (family or no family) but since it’s disney world i guess i get it.
at the end of the day it’s your wedding and you can invite who you want.
but i agree with the babysitter idea. why not arrange for some childcare for the other kids?
honestly i don’t think a lot of people would leave the kids behind for a disney world wedding..
Post # 34
There aren’t rides or Mickey Mouse involved, but with over a year to go, parents may try to kill two birds with one stone and plan a Disney vacation around the wedding. I’m having a destination wedding (with a stop at Disney World) too and our families are planning a vacation around our wedding, which is part of the reason we are taking more than a year to plan.
Post # 35
My advice would be to suggest that they bring their kids to Disney but then provide child care for them while they attend the wedding. It would be a way for the kids to come to Disney (I mean, c’mon. How guilty do you think they’d feel if they went to Disney without their kiddos). That way it could be made into a family vacation that and the parents could attend your wedding without guilt. I do think that for this to work you would need to foot the bill for childcare.
Post # 36
I have 2 kids and if they were not invited to a disney wedding there is NO WAY we would go. Yes I understand that you are not going to hav mickey mouse and all that at the wedding but If i was going to disney land my kids would be going too or we wouldnt be going at all… and I would be PISSED to find out my kids were not “good enough” to make the cut.
Post # 37
I’m usually way on the side of leave-your-children-at-home, but I think even I wouldn’t leave my kids behind if the wedding was at Disney. Especially if I lived in Boston and didn’t often get to take my kids there.
The space issue is definitely legitimate though – Maybe suggest they find a sitter if they want their kids? Or go an extra step and hire one for them?
Post # 38
I agree with @stardustintheeyes – even with the sitter, it should be all or nothing. You can’t have some kids with a sitter and some in a meal when they are all at Disney. Can you not have all of the kids for part of the day and then when the meal takes place all the kids go elsewhere and have junk food and fun?
Post # 39
Ok – So there’s lots of opinions here! I appreciate the feedback. Some of you have commented on the timing of my wedding. Yes it is the week before Christmas but it was a family decision. We have 35 family members living in four houses within blocks of one another and we have all agreed that this week would work best for a wedding and a family vacation. The other guests are flying in from Chicago and Guatemala and have agreed on the timing as well. I also mentioned that I know some of my guests won’t be able to attend; for example I have three Grandparents in their 80s who will not be able to make the trip. Even though I know they won’t be able to attend, I believe an invitation to them will not seem “gift grabby”. Now, on to the friends with children; I mentioned that we have very close family friends who we see bi-weekly which we are planning to invite, children included. However, I also noted that we have military friends with children whom we would like to invite sans children. I know that it may seem “mean” or “unfair” or the children would be “pissed” if their parents are invited but they are not, and I agree, it would be unfair to not invite children to Disney, but would it really be unfair to exclude them from the wedding? Most of you agree that yes it would be unfair and it should be an all or nothing deal. After some reflection, I disagree; I could never send cousins out of the room with a babysitter on my wedding day. I also wouldn’t be able to do this to close family friends, hell I should just call them family! Although I know I’m going against the grain, I think it would be best to invite our military friends without inviting their children. They are reasonable people, so I don’t think they would be outraged or offended if their children weren’t invited to the wedding. However, that does not exclude them from the trip to Disney, after all I do not own Disney and I do not (nor would I want to) control who can and cannot visit. I think the optimal situation would be an invitation to only the parents for the wedding, but an invitation for their whole family to join us and our family for the week at Disney to celebrate. After all, we are having a dinner reception after our ceremony, but the real party is the following week spent at Disney World. Fair?
Post # 40
I think that if you write a nice letter to the families explaining that you would love for the FAMILIES to join you for as much or as little of the vacation as the are able, in honor of your wedding you’ll avoid many hurt feelings.
I do think you need to be quite clear that you’ll be inviting some children, but not *these* children to ONE evening of events. Don’t tip-toe around it, but be polite about it. It isn’t because you don’t like the kids (this became more apparent throughout the thread) it’s because they aren’t family or “like family” to you.
It would be nice if you were able to arrange for something for these non-invited kids to do that evening, but if it isn’t in your budget, you need to at least be prepared with a list of affordable (and reliable!) options for child care in a “strange” city – in case you’re asked!
Few of us get a 100% positive RSVP list (I’m not sure every bride wants one!) and I do think some of your guests might choose to decline your invitation, but I suspect it will have little to do with hurt feelings and more to do with busy schedules or other issues in their lives.
Good luck to you! I’m glad that you are following your heart even if it’s telling you something different than most of us did. Remember to be kind, respectful and generous towards your guests and it will be hard to upset the people you love and who love you most in this world.
Post # 41
How many children will not be able to attend the dinner you are planning? Do you speak to these parents on a regular basis? If they are all military families you may be stressing out over nothing since this is the hardest time to get off so many of them may not be able to make it or plan on using their leave to see their own families at the holidays.
Post # 42
I just thought I would throw this out there. If you are close with the children of family friends, why aren’t these lil guys considered guests, rather than tag alongs of their parents. If people thought about it this way, perhaps we wouldn’t have guest complaining as to why their stranger children weren’t invited somewhere. AKA it’s not an entire family affair, rather we invited people we know and love (aka not our aquaintances’ children)
Post # 43
i think you are perfectly fine including and not including whoever you want.
i am having a disney wedding also (an escape package, so my guest count has to be even lower than yours), so i know exactly what you are going through with disney and their rules about guest count maximums in the different venues.
and i’m assuming most of your guests are going to make this trip into a vacation. just because their kids can’t come to the wedding, doesn’t mean they will miss out on disney world.
Post # 44
I would rather not receive an invite. How would I ever tell my 3 year that not only are we going on vacation without you, we’re going to Disneyworld. That would be horrific. I am usually one for, if you don’t want the kids there who cares if others are upset it’s your day, but in this instance I do feel differently about it.
If you were a close family member or something, perhaps I would bring a baby sitter with us, but then you’re asking me to spend money for an extra person as well as attending your Destination Wedding. That’s a lot.
Post # 45
Are there some people that you “know” will not make it so you can actually invite them all??
Post # 46
I think there is another option here – just because all people’s children aren’t invited doesn’t mean they have to stay home in Boston. Disney offers great ‘fairy godmothers’ who babysit, they’ll even take your kids to the park for you (if given permission, of course). Perhaps you could offer to pay for these sitters for those whose children aren’t invited to the actual wedding.
I see nothing wrong with including children you’re close to. I know it can get tricky with people’s feelings. But I truly don’t see how it’s anything different than inviting the friends you’re close to and not others.
Oh, and super jealous here – I would LOVE to get married at Disney and that room’s view is amazing. But in just two weeks and one day I’ll be at the Contemporary for my honeymoon =)