(Closed) We're moving in together! What should I pack/buy/throw out?

posted 4 years ago in Home
Post # 2
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Have you heard of the KonMari method? Really helped/helps me get rid of and keep down on the clutter. It gives you step-by-step on how to decide what to get rid of.

Post # 3
Hostess
9050 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

wishingbee:  No real advice but well done you for being proactive and decluttering so that you don’t end up dragging tonnes of crap to his place and end up being messy as a result of having too much stuff. I think you are on track, if you have done without things in the time you have been spending at his then you probably don’t need them. I think, if something hasn’t been worn / used in the last year get shot (apart from books but books are my thing) Best of luck with the move and I hope you both share such a happy time in your home together.

Post # 5
Hostess
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You sound like me when my husband and I moved in together.  (I’m the messy one and I had/have a ton of stuff)

Downsizing is a good idea, and it’s great that you don’t have much furniture.  We lived together in my space for a little while, but it was too small for us, so when my lease was up, we looked for something bigger.  That’s when the real downsizing began.  We got rid of anything that we didn’t want to see in our “future forever home.”  So all of the junky furniture that we’d been hanging onto since college and that kind of thing.  This meant that our new home was sparsely furnished for awhile (we had people over for fantasy football draft before our couch came, and I was mortified to have company sitting in lawn chairs!) but it has worked out well.  

Good luck with your new living situation.  I loved it so much when my then-fiance moved in!

Post # 6
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

wishingbee:  haha me too… I like to say I do KonMari Lite

Post # 7
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Hawksnest Cove Beach St John USVI

I’m the queen of downsizing!  I’ve twice moved across the country with nothing more than would fit in my car!  Designating a specific amount of space worked well for me in determining how important things were to keep. When Darling Husband and I moved we actually shipped the dogs toys since they wouldn’t fit in the car but other than that we stuck to it. 

Not having a lot of furniture helps with that thought process. Also, every time I was tempted to buy something after that I would think “would this make it in my future moves?”  If not and I didn’t need it I wouldn’t buy it. 

FWIW, I’m crazy analytical and determined the cost of moving items vs. buying it new.  For those moves it made more financial sense to buy new things than rent a truck. 

Post # 8
Member
5 posts
Newbee

There are a few tips I followed when I moved out the first time with my boyfriend in a small one-bedroom apartment. 

1. Look at everything you have that can’t be hung on a hanger or put in a drawer. These are the things that will take up a lot of space. Clothes weren’t my issue when I moved out, it was my abundance of shoes and purses that took up 3/4 of our newly shared closet floor.

2. Take only the necessities the first couple of weeks & leave behind things you don’t think you’ll need, but you don’t want to get rid just yet, or ever. (If you can).  I left a ton of sentimental items in my mom’s basement. Things like, yearbooks, boxes of pictures, old bedroom decor, etc. After about 6 months, I ended up throwing most of it away, except for the pictures.

4. I moved in the summer, so I left behind at my mom’s house ALL of my winter clothes, boots, etc. It gave me time to see how much more room I could fit. 

5. Downsizing before you move out is great idea! However, don’t feel like you have to have everything downsized before you move in. Things take time. It took me almost 6 months to finally feel like everything was where it needed to be. 

Don’t worry about him being a neat-freak, and don’t feel like you need to be one too. You’ll drive youself crazy if you’re constantly worrying about what he’ll think or do if you accidently leave a few dirty clothes on the floor.

My boyfriend is a neat-freak. I only am when it comes to my closet. Just make sure you clean up after yourself, and use good judgment. If there are a ton of dishes that need washed, and he was having a bad day at work yesterday, clean them. Little things go a long way.

My boyfriend & I always picked one day a week where we both cleaned the entire apartment, went grocery shopping, and then did something fun that night. Most of the time, it was just take-out & Netflix. Those days especially helped use reconnect if we had a fight that week over something silly, like dirty clothes on the floor one morning (haha). Remember, cleaning can be fun! 

Post # 9
Member
4891 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

wishingbee:  Dh and I eachowned our own homes before we moved in together, to his place. The first things I packed up were my clothes and anything bathroom related that I would need to get ready. I figured, if I had clothes and that stuff… I could at least get ready every morning/night.

In terms of what to get rid/toss… if you have the time, go through your closet//dressers and purge anything you haven’t worn in forever, and donate! This took some time, but in the end, it was so great to be able to purge things that were just sitting there that didn’t need to be moved.

We really didn’t decide what to keep of each others (if there was something of a duplicate) until I had moved stuff over. This was mainly in the kitchen, but we basically kept anything that was newer, or we knew there was a spot. And, almost a year later… we were going through things again when we made our wedding registry so things were more “ours” and not “mine/his”.

Darling Husband is very clean as well, and still foes the cleaning. My efforts are just not up to par with what he likes… so it’s easier just to let him do it and help with the little stuff (vaccuum, dusting mainly). Discuss this early, so you’re on the same page. Maybe divid out tasks, or switch things up every few months. Darling Husband cleans as he goes, so our kitchen is always psotless. The bathroom gets a good clean once every 4-5 weeks, and the same with the rest of the house. I ususally dust a little more often, as that seems to build up = but helps in the long run.

Post # 11
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

The reason you turn into a clean persosn when you’re at his place is because you’re ina  clean environment. It’s easier to maintain something that’s already prestige than it is to gut. I wouldn’t worry too much about adjusting because it sounds like you’re a messy personw ho WANTS to be clean, haha.

My biggest advice (coming from a clean person) is to pick your battles with little things bcause little things to you may be a big deal to him. He sounds organized so if you go in and put bowls where he didn’t have them before it might bother him. Ibviously, you want to feel at home, but like I said pick your battles. Do youREALLY care how that towel is foldedor where that dish went? If he does then just do it, :). It’ll make the transition either. Obviously if you really hate the way something is done, voice your opinion.

Also, start from scratch! Throw out /donate as much as possible

Post # 12
Member
4243 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I recommend not throwing everything out until you move in.  One of my good friends moved in with her now husband and she literally gave away/sold/threw out almost all her stuff.  Once they got to their new place, they had to go out and buy a lot of new stuff and they didn’t have that much money to buy the new stuff.  Personally it is also a lot easier for me to see what we have once everything is in the same spot…then you can decide what to get rid of.

Post # 13
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would also suggest having him do the same thing (cleaning out his closet/going through his books etc) This is the main reason why when we moved in together we got a whole new place rather that just move into one of our apartments (though I realize that isn’t always possible/smart so not saying that is a must do)

But it made the place “ours” instead of me moving into his apt or him into MY apartment which I think makes a big mental difference (since you don’t have much furniture this will be even easier since you won’t have to decide which couch is the nicers one or who has the better dishes etc)

Even if he isn’t physically moving locations I would say that it’s important to feel like you have equal space and ownership

Post # 14
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

Pack your sanity, buy an extra bedroom set, and throw away any/all ex partner things, because that negative juju is not welcomed!

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