(Closed) We're not engaged yet, but we've started planning. I am so lost.

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It just depends on what your looking for.  I enjoy reading blogs and looking at other people’s pictures of their weddings for inspiration.

Offbeat bride is one of my favorites: http://offbeatbride.com/

& Martha always has great examples of all things wedding:  http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/

Just start looking around and getting some ideas.  The pressure is off and you have plenty of time to decide what you want.  Talk to your boyfriend too and decide on how big/lavish you want your wedding.  This is supposed to be fun ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
2430 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Well– for starters: SLOW DOWN!!! 

You’re not even engaged yet! You shouldn’t be in any huge rush to make all the planning decisions– keep your pintrest page going, and add all the things that catch you eye.  In a few months, once you have a nice collection going, then you can decide which ones you really like, and which ones were just flashy enough to get your attention. 


Post # 5
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Good job getting an early start, but I agree with both of the PP.  Start looking at blogs.  Stylemepretty.com is good.  Also, if you google wedding photographers, their sites usually have a bunch of photos from their weddings.  I drew a lot of inspiration just by looking at other people’s wedding photos!  And sloooooow down.  It’s all a bit overwhelming at first, so don’t get ahead of yourself.

Post # 7
1601 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d suggest picking one key element you just HAVE to have and working from there.  For me?  I absolutely HAD to have the color robin’s egg blue and it HAD to be in the summer.  Everything else fell into place from there.  

Post # 8
1601 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

On a side note, some people get very judgy if you start planning a wedding before you’re engaged (not debating whether or not this is right or wrong) so you *might* want to consider hiding your Pinterest from nosies you know who might make side comments Wink

Post # 9
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I started a word doc (not on Pinterest yet) and just started pasting pictures I liked, no matter what they looked liked.  Over time, I noticed themes coming out from my “like” page, and I started gravitating towards certain colors and styles. 

Grab some bride magazines or go online and just start pulling stuff you like, regardless of color, style, etc.  Then take a week or so off from it, come back and see if you notice anything you picked ALOT.

Have fun, this is not a time for stress yet! 


Post # 10
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think the venue is a good place to start – it will really set the tone for what kind of wedding you want to have.  I guess in order to chose the venue though you need to have an idea of what kind of wedding you want (formal, causal, shabby chic, modern, etc.)  Pinterest is a great way to collect ideas – I find that once I go back to my board and look at all my pins, I see a general trend in everythign I have pinned and that helps confirm to me what I am looking for.

For instance, I had NO idea what I wanted to do for hair but I pinned anything and everything I saw for hair that i LOVED and I went back a few weeks later to my “wedding hair” board and saw that all 50 pins basically were side swept, simple updo with a bun in the back – it was CLEAR what kind of hair style I want to have, even though in my mind I had no idea.


Good luck and happy planning!  It can definitely be overwhelming with so many choices out there!  Maybe consider a wedding planner if you have the budget for it – they can help you hone in on a vision

Post # 11
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with PPs–pin like crazy just for fun/to capture ideas.  Then, once you get engaged and figure out your date, number of guests and venue then start narrowing down what exactly you want.  DIY for 50 is different than 200 guests, shabby chic may not work for a more elegant venue, etc.  I had a few concrete themes going into the wedding discussions with SO but I wasn’t really factoring him much into those visions.  

Now we’re looking at a much smaller guest list, brunch instead of a drink/dinner/dance reception.  And not only did that change my vision, but fInding the venue to fit our dream changed it again.  So now I’m back to an elegant, antique, red roses and lace kind of wedding–just scaled down a bit.  

Oh and once you have some of these things figured out, don’t compromise on them.  My family thinks my color scheme is inappropriate for a spring wedding but I’ve dreamed of these colors for decades and no way am I waiting until Fall 2013 to marry my sweetheart!  I’m hoping we’ll be expecting by then ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 12
564 posts
Busy bee

@admiralcupcakekiller:  Planning a wedding is super exciting and fun….but being engaged is fun as well, you’re missing out on something wonderful by jumping ahead, stop putting the cart before the horse girlLaughing

Post # 13
2933 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My advice?  STOP PLANNING!!  ๐Ÿ™‚


Wait till you’re truly, for real engaged.  You never know when that might be, and by then your tastes/choices/opinions might be a little different.

Post # 14
2360 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@KristenGotMarried:   Not only may your tastes change, but you may want to wait until you know your budget. That will be a huge determining factor, and it should be decided before planning anything.

Post # 15
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@KristenGotMarried:  Co-signed.

OP- You are planning something so nebulous that you can’t pin it down (pun FULLY intended!). Looking at a lot of pretty things this early will only leave you more confused. Don’t do that to yourself. Instead, keep having conversations with your partner. “When we get married? Do you want to have a big wedding with a lot of guests? What is your definition of “a lot”? Who would you absolutely have to have there? Do you want to get married in the town that we live in? Your hometown? My hometown? Another destination? If we got married in my hometown, do you think your best friend and his family could afford to travel there? How much do you think our wedding should cost? Ya know, babe, it would be really hard to have your 200 person wedding on a $5000 budget. If you had to chose a small budget OR a big guest list, which one matters more to you? ” etc., etc., etc. Pinterest is awesome for filling in the details, but details are absolutely useless until yopu have an overall plan and vision that you both 100% share. So work on that piece first.

Post # 16
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Its okay to get ideas and think ahead but don’t obsess. Wait for your ring till you really start to roll the ball. 

Welcome to the Bee! ๐Ÿ™‚ 

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