(Closed) We're on a break

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m really sorry you’re going through this.  But it sounds like this might be the best thing for you both for a bit, and you both seem to be handling it really maturely.  You’re right- he can’t be happy with you until he truly loves himself, and that’s a really important thing to know.  So good for you for realizing that and helping him to realize it too.  

I can’t imagine how hard this is going to be for you though….nothing will make it easier.  But your relationship seems pretty open and honest, and that kind of communication is definitely going to work in your favor in the long run.  Just don’t lose hope, and stay optimistic (easier said then done, I know!), and keep on believing that it IS a light.  

 

Hugs!!!  

 

Post # 6
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@FutureMrsJohnson_ Good plans for keeping yourself busy. If it’s meant to be it will all work out. It ain’t over til it’s over so if you love him, hang in there, I hope everything works out.

Post # 7
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I havent been in this exact situation but I think that you may need to back off him a bit. Men tend to shut down when they feel pressured and it seems like this is what is happening to him and either he doesnt really understand his own feelings or he just doesnt want to hurt you. I’m sorry but may i ask how old you guys are? and I’m just asking because my Fiance and I have been together since we were 17 and we went through a lot because we were both working our ways through college and barely had time for ourselves let alone someone else. We both decided that we wouldnt get engaged until we were done with our education, we were both serious about our relationship but we both knew that we had other priorities. Be patient, everything will happen at the time their supposed to. I really wish you guys the best, but this maybe the best thing or right now. Feel better and stay busy busy busy!

Post # 9
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m going to have an unpopular opinion — I think it’s time to go for good. When you get married, you want to be 100% certain that the guy waiting for you at the end of the aisle is deliriously happy to be marrying YOU. I don’t think I would ever be able to trust him again after this.

Post # 11
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@FutureMrsJohnson_:  I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. But it’s better to know if things will work out or not now instead of after you’re married! My husband and I almost called off our wedding a month before because I feel that I needed space from him. We are now married and totally in love but it was pure HELL contemplating calling things off so close. Just know that no matter what happens, you will end up being happy! It’s hard right now but I promise you that everything will work out the ways they are supposed to! Keep your head up girl!

Post # 13
Hostess
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

This is tough. It sounds like he’s getting freaked out about the future. I think you’re doing the best thing by backing off. You just need to focus on yourself and everything will work out for the best. 

 

Post # 14
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@cmbr:  I can relate to what you’re saying. My ex and I were constantly on “breaks” when I was in my early 20s and I lost all trust in him pretty fast (but stupidly kept going back).

On one hand I feel like wild horses shouldn’t keep him away, but on the other hand I know that life is more complicated than that sometimes, 24 is pretty young… etc.

OP, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. I hope that he realizes how much he wants to be with you, and comes crawling back ASAP. If he has some sort of depression/medical issue then I hope he gets help. All is not lost.. but if he keeps pulling stuff like this I would re-think marrying him. He sounds kinda immature and unsure of himself. I guess that comes with being 24, but he needs to treat you well. That passive aggressive avoiding you crap before you finally talked was not cool.

Post # 16
Hostess
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@FutureMrsJohnson_:  That’s understandable. But remember, this isn’t just his time. This is your time too. You should take this month to figure out if you want to be with him. Everyone has flaws, you shouldn’t blame yourself. Having conflict doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with you, it simply means you may not be right for each other. 

 

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